Non-binary ID-A thread:

I don’t discuss gender stuff all the time and I think that a lot of things we say here on twitter get lost or forgotten, so I’d like to clarify my own exp w/gender identity + sexuality and where I stand.

1/12

Firstly, gender and sexuality, while often overlapping, do not necessarily determine one another. It is not uncommon for someone to transition and then feel comfortable exploring sexuality more bc they feel more comfortable w/their gender presentation/body.

2/12

I came out first as queer 10 years ago. I knew I had a much stronger attraction to femininity than I did masculinity, and thus would sometimes use “lesbian” as a short form identifier for my sexuality as I was more femme leaning in my gender presentation.

3/12

I came out as non-binary 3 yrs ago. It took me longer than I liked, tbh, bc I didn’t want anyone to think that my gender ID = a disdain for women. I ID as a feminist (not a terf), and I never wanted women to feel as though I wasn’t in their corner bc I didn’t ID as one.

4/12

I see gender and sexuality both as spectrums (as many parts of our identities are). The English language is imperfect, and while labels are necessary to signal parts of ourselves to others, ppl often get hung up on the boundaries—what we are NOT supposed to be in them.

5/12

My sexuality, for example, could be called different things by different ppl. To be transparent, it is a strong attraction falling anywhere from androgynous to feminine, and very infrequently masculine. Ppl could say that = pansexual, bisexual, bi lesbian, etc. I use queer.

6/12

Gender is same—a spectrum. My gender presentation is more femme leaning, but I will dress andro-masc pretty regularly depending on how I feel. When I dress up v femme, it has always felt more like drag or costume than my ID. I think that’s normal bc gender is a performance.

7/12

Different ppl would call this different things—genderqueer, genderfluid, NB. I ID as NB. Pronouns—I use they/she and my feelings abt them have changed over time. I feel more comfy w/they them but I know our world is not safe/respectful everywhere for me to request that.

8/12

I find that ppl who get confused about NB ID generally get hung up on presentation that leans more to the masc or femme side—they misunderstand NB ID as total androgyny—falling right in the middle of the binary. That’s just not how it is for many of us.

9/12

It’s also worth noting that this concept of NB ID as a new thing is simply false. In fact, NB/GQ ppl were major players in the Stonewall riots—they were kids and rejects of their homes and society in NYC. A detailing of this can be found in the book Stonewall.

10/12

Have Qs? Good faith Qs are fine, but understand that ppl get tired of educating (esp when many Qs are trolls) and as with anything we don’t know abt, it’s up to us first to do the research and better ourselves. Great pods for this= @queersplaining, @gendereveal, and NB.

11/12

Of course I could go on and on abt gender and sexuality things, but I hope this thread gives ppl a clearer understanding of how I personally view gender and sexuality—spectral, fluid, and always evolving. The takeaway is ppl know themselves best, so respect how they ID.

12/12