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Balance. We talk about it. But the dirty secret: it doesn’t exist. What’s worse, everybody on #MedTwitter appears balanced and accomplished with perfect marriages and parenting! This increases #impostersyndrome among doctors. My thoughts on balance in this thread.
1. Begin with why. What is your mission? What gets you up in the morning? Truly. Be honest with the “real you” in the mirror. Comparing yourself to others won’t help. Once you find your why, your mission—Get a big white board and put it on the wall. See mine in my office.
2. Make your bed. It’s a symbol for getting a simple task done first thing in the day. The sense of accomplishing something sets the tone for the day. Check out the famous speech. .
3. Make a priority list for what is most important to you for your career and for your life. Consider a “Top 5” themes for both. Put these on your white board. Focus on “yes” for those activities in line with priorities and learn “no” or “not now” for activities not aligned.
4. Get organized. Sounds trite. But so true. Organize your emails. Organize your documents, papers, presentations. Organize your desktop. Chaos even when just perceived creates great anxiety and cuts down on productivity.
5. Lock yourself in. Literally schedule “writing manuscript” on your calendar. Block off all potential interruptions if possible. I actually schedule time to read and respond to emails. I schedule time for working out. I schedule time to play golf. It’s tough but needed at first.
6. Surround yourself with a tribe that champions you, lifts you up, and asks you hard questions. Life coaches. A diverse group. Make sure they know YOUR why and your mission. They will keep you on the path.
7. The enemy of good (even great) is perfection. Embrace failure. You won’t fail if you don’t try something and take risks. But you won’t win at anything in life if you cannot embrace falling on your face sometimes.
8. Forgive yourself. Show yourself compassion. Reject shame. Embrace vulnerability. Self-care is not selfish. This is exceptionally hard with doctors. We suck at this in our DNA. I have stopped loathing myself and focused on embracing who I am. This has been huge.
9. Forgive others. Be compassionate and practice empathy. Try to imagine another person’s path. Ask questions. Praise others for their success. Jealousy erodes your soul. Freedom is found when you can truly celebrate other’s victories as your own. Especially those on your team.
10. Friendship. Family. Play. Sleep. Exercise. Vacation. And snuggles with kids. Enrich your life with people, relationships, love, passion. Fight for these people. Heroic. Chivalrous. Reckless abandon. Don’t hold back. Don’t waste today. Live like you are dying. Because you are.
