Thread by @flashblak, those who follow & know my pain

those who follow & know my pain - here’s some insight why

I worked 9 yrs at @RedCrossAU as a Comms Officer, for the most part the only Indigenous person in a dept of 160. It was exhausting. I was constantly pulling them up on their racist behaviour

they didn’t see their behaviour as racist. To them it was ‘ignorance’ ‘unconscious bias’ ‘oversight’ ‘processing errors’ anything but the R word. At first I wrote stories about our work with Indigenous ppl which I enjoyed. I was new. I was finding my ‘place’ But i observed things

Like why fundraising & marketing never promoted our Indigenous work. I was told Bcoz research shows the ‘Betty’s from the Gold Coast aren’t interested in supporting it’

so they pandered to ppl who didn’t like Blak ppl. I suggested why not try. They refused.

It always sat heavy with me. That they were happy to take this $ & of course it made me feel like shit. A couple of yrs ago they did do a Blak story for fundraising. It was a big hit with donors.FMD honestly

they had audience personas & insights, with terminology which was off

The high status family, the elite independent, the strugglers, part Indigenous, not what I’d expect from a Humanitarian org. I ask what did that all mean? Oh that’s the agency writing we will fix that

I wrote a piece for January 26 to be videoed. The script is edited & text removed around why I found this day painful. My Aboriginal belief systems & creation of this land.

I was told ‘mainly to make it shorter, which I think is important if it’s largely a piece to camera...

& to keep in the whole section on what everyone can do to be more aware & sensitive. That’s the stuff that makes it educative & less a personal statement...’

I argued & lost & didn’t record my story

I was always the ‘just run it past Kerry’ person for content like the World Refugee Video that had Indigenous ppl in it. I argued you can’t do that. They argued the message is it doesn’t matter how you got here or how long you’ve been here we are all Australians. I explained why

This was offensive & wrong & they wouldn’t budge. I often fought my battles alone. But when they wouldn’t listen I’d ask other Blak staff from the ‘Indigenous Leadership Team’ for back up. I shouldn’t have to. They should have respected me & understood. They didn’t. Wouldn’t

This would play out on repeat over the 9 years. I was told we couldn’t mark the 1967 Referendum as it was a ‘legal decision’

I argued that. They changed their mind.

When national tragedies occurred Red Cross was there. The tragic murder of Eurydice Dixon, Margaret River murder, others. Our social channels would tell ppl how to look after themselves in these times of tragedy & grief. When there was a tragedy in Indigenous communities. Silence

I suggested we have more discussion around this. Of course take the lead of the community. But at the very least a message for internal staff, particularly Blak staff. It took many years b4 this would be seen as a priority. I’m not it still is?

Other Aboriginal staff wld come to me & id hear there stories of racism, emotional & psychological abuse. A confronting email from one colleague made me physically ill. I held space for them. But it weighed heavy on me. I felt their powerless bcoz I too was powerless in my role

A racist document with blatant lies is written & I fortunately see it ‘as the just get Kerry to check person’ b4 publication. I hit rock bottom. I seek counselling & take leave. No repercussions for ppl involved. I never recover, never have trust. Im hyper vigilant on all comms

Because of this I’m told I am controlling

I speak up not just on Indigenous content & issues. But on the serious lack of diversity in our material. It’s becoming more glaringly obvious too me. I’m told ‘yes you’re right we will do better’ they didn’t

Because of her I can
special recognition from @RedCrossAU

all the while they didn’t want to hear the views of this Blak woman. Least of all one that was becoming more fierce...

Because of her I canspecial recognition from @RedCrossAU all the while they didn’t want to hear the views of this Blak woman. Least of all one that was becoming more fierce...

But worse than not listen to me. They did not even see me. International Women’s Day this year. I was invisible. Blak women were invisible. WE. DIDN’T. EXIST. a video created & there are no First Nations’ women in it. No dark skinned women. No diversity. Just a lot of whiteness

So I Stood up, spoke up to fight their racist systems. I choose this over silence. They inserted 2 Aboriginal women in the video. I said not good enough. The concept is flawed. Start again. they wouldn’t listen. I was broken https://twitter.com/redcrossau/status/1235433687602298880

https://twitter.com/redcrossau/status/1235433687602298880

. @RedCrossAU was founded in 1914 on white ppl helping white ppl. The video in 2020 showed me nothing changed. My battle began in earnest & so too the deterioration of my mental health

Their COVID response, a free line for ppl to receive calls is promoted. I look & it asks if you are Aboriginal /Torres Strait Islander. So I ask them. Are we providing Indigenous callers. ‘No’ there are none. ‘So why are we asking?’ To see if there is demand is the reply

I explain programs must be created on inclusiveness NOT demand. They get to work recruiting Indigenous callers. So I became more than a Comms officer. But my lowly position & wage remained unchanged in 9 yrs.

carrying the strength of my people, I continued to fight. A presentation by marketing tips me over. I said no more. I will not be erased. I will not be silenced. I was told to ‘tone it down’ I replied ‘I’m at riot level’ NO! But I’m emotionally spent

I Spoke truths demanding @RedCrossAU hold the mirror up. Don’t look away. The reflection is ugly & uncomfortable. It should be. Then, only then. You will also see our pain, my pain & know you must change. To say no more. To fight racism. They write a statement on racism https://twitter.com/redcrossau/status/1280994952541954048

https://twitter.com/redcrossau/status/1280994952541954048

I resign the day it’s published. It’s a joke. I was given 2 counselling sessions on leaving, had to be used with weeks. I missed the cut off. There are of course more stories, more trauma & grief. Everyone knows the toll it took. I cried in nearly every meeting while fighting

I left 6 months ago. Apart from one text & DM no one has reached out to me. @RedCrossAU showed no humanity to me nor other Aboriginal staff. I hear from staff still there. It pains me. So I speak today not just for me, but all those who have been abused

. @RedCrossAU had a tag line ‘supporting vulnerable people’ I would always say it should be ‘creating vulnerable people’. the abuse & trauma was inflicted under 3 RAPs. No accountability. Nt once did they consider employing more Indigenous ppl in my dept. I did a leadership course

Last year. None of my managers were interested in what I did there or my aspirations. I suppose why would they. I was cheap. 3 days a week, base level, but often working 5. A comms officer giving policy advice & more.

The toll on my health has been extreme. They knew this. They knew my mum died from racism. I told them everything. They showed me no humanity. Only the number for the special EAP line for counselling. Like I was the person with the problem. Someone asked me how can we fix this

I said stop being racist. Dismantle the racist structures in this place

nope. Just a nicely worded statement about rejecting racism is all we can do for now

TG even the EAP I called was a fking nightmare Which i was involved in fixing. The agency had ‘processing issues’

Interesting side story. Restructure last year. A new ‘identified’ role is created. Clearly for me as I’m the only Blak person in dept. but there’s another role I can apply for. I think great, I’ll go for other role & get it

Then they will hire another Indigenous person

I’m told no. If I get other role. The identified role will be removed.

errr you can’t go that. Sounds dodgy AF. So I take identified role. Which when I leave is advertised as not identified. Hang on. What’s going on here?

So I left fighting, with my head held high. Speaking the truths that @RedCrossAU would like me to keep hidden. Everything in that org needs to change. It’s built on racist foundations & it continues to uphold racist systems.

When I started @RedCrossAU there was a lot of Indigenous staff in Brisbane, at peak 12 in Milton office. When I left there was just me & a young part time receptionist who they were fking around w shit hours. I never felt so alone. So much for RAP targets

This played out across the country. Blak numbers dwindled. promises of extended contracts that never eventuated. the pressure on those that remained increased. I’d watch Blak staff act up into positions, for ages, apply for the job when advertised & then not get the position

The stories which I loved to write bcoz they captured our incredible Blak staff & communities & kept me there, were becoming fewer. Worse I’d fight to get them published. I visited 1 community & gathered 3 amazing stories. I wrote them & they collected dust for over a year

Myself & white colleague

fought to get them on @RedCrossAU website. The delays come at a price. My relationship with Blak staff is fractured. I feel I let them & community down. The work they put in for us, wasn’t returned. It’s not my fault but I feel I cld have fought harder

3yrs later, fundraising want to ‘use them’. Honestly. They had no interest when I gathered them. Fmd. I told them no. The Blak staff had left so the stories weren’t accurate. That often happened. I gather stories, they’d take ages to publish, Blak staff leave, mostly involuntary

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