On darkfic & discourse:
Steps to make a bully shut up, a thread.
Steps to make a bully shut up, a thread.
1. Do not fall into the trap of bullying back.
If they are calling names or kink-shaming, simply acknowledge what they are doing and move on. Don't sink to their level, but DO call out their behavior.
If they are calling names or kink-shaming, simply acknowledge what they are doing and move on. Don't sink to their level, but DO call out their behavior.
2. Turn their words back on them. Someone once said my story was âinhumane filthâ and I added "inhumanely filthy" as a tag.
A bully's goal is to shame you into doing what they want; do the opposite.
A bully's goal is to shame you into doing what they want; do the opposite.
3. Stay focused on your point. If they are offended but you tagged for it, thatâs on them. If they point out your story is immoral, ask them why they're reading it.
4. A bully is not entitled to justification or personal details. The reason you write darkfic is nobodyâs business.
If you use it as a means to process trauma (a healthy coping mechanism, btw), it is NO ONE's business.
If you use it as a means to process trauma (a healthy coping mechanism, btw), it is NO ONE's business.
5. Avoid logical fallacies. They'll use emotional appeals (Think of the children! Think of the women!) to make you feel guilty.
It's perfectly normal to think about dark topics and to write about them. Writing about murder is not the same as doing murder (or I'd be in jail...)
It's perfectly normal to think about dark topics and to write about them. Writing about murder is not the same as doing murder (or I'd be in jail...)
6. Donât let them get away with victim-blaming or blame-shifting. Darkfic and fic writers in general are not responsible for rape, murder, pedophilia, etc.
Rapists, murderers, and pedos are responsible for these heinous acts. Period.
Rapists, murderers, and pedos are responsible for these heinous acts. Period.
7. It is not your responsibility for teaching other humans how to behave. If you write smut, you're not automatically taking the role of sex-ed teacher.
It's not your job to write a textbook for moral, safe, clean living (unless you want to!); it is your job to tell the story.
It's not your job to write a textbook for moral, safe, clean living (unless you want to!); it is your job to tell the story.
8. Donât give bullies a voice in your space. If they leave nasty comments, delete them. They donât get to hijack your story & your readersâ experience simply because the option to comment is there. You're in control. I delete LIBERALLY (unless I'm making an example of someone).
9. You are under NO obligation to respond to a bully.
Their first mode of attack will always be to try to âhelpâ you or your readers, so watch for signs of morality policing before the bullying begins.
Their first mode of attack will always be to try to âhelpâ you or your readers, so watch for signs of morality policing before the bullying begins.
10. Feel free to call out the behavior calmly and boldly: If someone is 100k words into your story and just now mentioning how much they hate it, point out that nobody is making them read.
Then shut it down. YOU are in charge, not them.
Then shut it down. YOU are in charge, not them.
11. Put the responsibility for their discomfort where it belongs: On them.
You ARE responsible for appropriately tagging your works. I try to tag thoroughly and honestly. Tagging builds trust between you and your readers and protects people from stuff they don't want to read.
You ARE responsible for appropriately tagging your works. I try to tag thoroughly and honestly. Tagging builds trust between you and your readers and protects people from stuff they don't want to read.
12. Remember, they came to YOU and started shit.
A bully gets power by finding easy targets and forcing them to comply with what they want. Simply donât do whatever it is theyâre trying to force on you. Call for backup if needed.
A bully gets power by finding easy targets and forcing them to comply with what they want. Simply donât do whatever it is theyâre trying to force on you. Call for backup if needed.
13. Remember bullies are cowards. They will often come in as anons to protect their ârealâ identities.
If they arenât willing to play fair, then simply call them out on their behavior and move on. Don't let them distract you with side arguments.
NEVER DOX or harass in return.
If they arenât willing to play fair, then simply call them out on their behavior and move on. Don't let them distract you with side arguments.
NEVER DOX or harass in return.
14. You are human. You are going to mess up. Thatâs okay.
But donât allow some stranger on the internet to control your experience.
You donât owe anyone anything. At the end of the day, antis only have as much power as you give them.
But donât allow some stranger on the internet to control your experience.
You donât owe anyone anything. At the end of the day, antis only have as much power as you give them.
15. NEVER apologize for reading, writing, and enjoying dark fiction.
Find friends and allies who will enjoy it with you. Thatâs the best part.
It's okay to like what you like. You don't need an excuse to be YOU.
xoxoxo!
Find friends and allies who will enjoy it with you. Thatâs the best part.
It's okay to like what you like. You don't need an excuse to be YOU.
xoxoxo!
P.S. If you ever need some sick burns to toss at your bully, let me know. I have a list.
