Read on Twitter
“I realize I only want God to provide. I don’t want to ask people to step into my need. I want manna from heaven but not from my neighbor.”
I wrote 52,000+ words on lack but still the vulnerability of saying to my neighbor “I need you, will you help me?” feels foolishly naive.
I wrote 52,000+ words on lack but still the vulnerability of saying to my neighbor “I need you, will you help me?” feels foolishly naive.
It feels risky because we’ve been denied. Because we’ve been told our lack is our fault. Because in the most shame-filled parts of our heart, grace often still feels as if it must be earned. Because deep abiding faith repeatedly battles the lies that tell us we’re not “beloved.”
I’d deny my needs and rename my self-preservation & fear something holier, like contentment. I still learn to ask and receive. It is less a discipline to believe I am beloved by God than that God loves me through my neighbors. It is a profound act of faith to ask and receive.
Anyway, all of this to say, thank you for all the ways you’ve continued to teach me this. To trust that my ask isn’t ridiculous or unwarranted or even unseen. To remind me to receive. Who would’ve thought many of my “neighbors” would be Twitter peeps in the middle of a pandemic?
