why some autistic people experience gender differently from allistics, and why we may use lots of genders and neopronouns to define ourselves: a thread

autism is known to affect your perception of the world. I view everything in a uniquely autistic way, including my gender. but our perception of gender goes beyond just having autism

many autistic people experience alexythimia. in short, alexythimia is the inability to define emotions and explain abstract concepts.

an important note: alexythimia is NOT being emotionless, though we may sometimes feel we have no emotion due to alexythimia

alexythimia is NOT an inherently bad trait. when necessary (which isn't always) therapists tend to work on helping people who experience alexythimia with defining their emotions in the easiest way for them.

this does not always include defining them in standard terms

for example, I often feel "static-y" which isn't a traditional emotion, but it's how I've found a way to describe my emotion.

this abstract way of defining things can, and often does, bleed into our genders

"but gender isn't an emotion!!!"
it is an abstract concept, and can be just as hard for us to define as an emotion could be.

plus, some people's genders are influenced by emotion, and I'm not going to discredit their experiences.

I use neopronouns and identify with xenogenders because that's how I experience and define abstract concepts.

my understanding of my gender is entirely unique, and these are simply the best outlets to put a definition on something otherwise undefinable

this is in no way harmful, it does not disconnect me from reality, in fact it's applying the very same tools I've been given by my therapist to my gender.

it doesn't worsen my alexythimia because alexythimia can't be worsened. the biggest challenge of alexythimia is communication, so the goal is to improve an alexythimic person's ability to communicate.

alexythimia is also NOT the same as dissociation. there is no depersonalization or derealization involved. dissociation can cause alexythimia, but not the other way around.

final notes:

this is only one reason autistic people are more likely to identify with xenogenders and use neopronouns

alexythimia is not autism-exclusive, I'm mainly talking about autism here as it's a well recognized and common trait of it.

allistics can rt and are encouraged to do