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12/3 is a day I dread every year, the anniversary of my dad passing. But today I’m going to focus on all the memories /1
On the night of 12/3/14, I was at 930 Club seeing TAB and got a call from my stepsister (who lives in my hometown) saying that my dad didn’t come home from work /2
The next weeks, months I guess, were awful. A blur, so much to process and organize. @chillwig said this moment was a confluence of past, present and future which is so true /3
But back back back — in 1981 my dad went for full custody of me when my parents got divorced. As I became a parent I realized how brave and what a sacrifice it was for him to do that /4
Apparently around that time in the summer we were at his cottage and I was like 2 and walked off the dock and he saved me from drowning, I guess that’s to be expected /5
At that cottage, my dad taught me how to waterski, fish, swim, and about the joys of hanging out with friends and family. Loud music, card games, nights around the fire, that’s what I grew up with /6
And that’s what I still do now. Every morning growing up, I ate cereal at the kitchen table and my dad was there drinking coffee. I can’t remember if we talked, at all, but we were there together, every day /7
I’ll never forget the day my dad dropped me off at college. He was so happy for me, but as a parent, I can’t imagine how sad he was to have me leaving home /8
My dad and I had fun together, always. When I was home from college for Christmas, we went to a casino in Detroit on 12/23. On the way home at 4am, I said: “Dad, did we ruin Christmas?” He laughed and said: “Yeah, I think we did.” Then we laughed, a lot /9
We drove to Chicago when I started grad school. Spent the night before in an RV at a casino in IN (for real). Next morning was 9/11. I’ll never forget how scared he was to leave me in my apartment in Hyde Park. Finally, he left and stopped to call me on the way /10
We talked almost every day. In that uncertain period between grad school and figuring out the rest of my life, he was always there. Always encouraging and positive. He always told me I could do anything, and that I was the smartest person he’s ever known /11
I fear as a parent that my kids will see me as an angry jerk who was often annoyed when they grow up, but the reality is that the love, encouragement and support is all you really need /12
My wedding was the 2nd happiest I’d ever seen my dad /13
The first time my dad met Maya was the happiest I’d ever seen him. He was over the moon. He visited a lot in those years, and we visited him a lot /14
This was the last time I saw him, Labor Day 2016. Who knew? /15
Maybe I did. 3 days before he died, I called him from the Bahamas where I was for Thanksgiving. As a new dad, I told him I appreciated everything he did, how he always put me first, how important family was to him, and how great of a dad I thought he was. He shrugged it off /16
The universe was telling me, and him, something. And I appreciate whatever that was, so much. /17
He was an entrepreneur, and the LAST thing he wanted me to do was to follow the same path. And here we are. The birth of the twins, the start of Osiris, the growth of the family, it all would have been so thrilling to him
But mostly I just miss talking to him
But mostly I just miss talking to him
