A Thread of How I Lost $32'000 with 2 bad Trades

My absence here on CT due to me being sick was also a time where I went through mental hurdles with myself and with events which happened within my family (people passing away & general drama)

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Disclaimer:

- Not seeking compassion here but I feel like this is a story some people can relate to and maybe not make the same mistakes as I did -

You know, it's easy to preach and tell the world how things are done, yet, it's not always that easy to keep oneself on the right track.

This year has been one of those years so far which changed me in many ways.

As a person and as a trader.
I believe those two go hand in hand.

A few events happened with family members passing away (not COVID), my father reaching a level of alcoholism which became unbearable & as a result, financial disaster.

Not only because of corona but also because I wanted to support my mother and sister, I went back to Mallorca.

After months of "isolation" I realised how this challenge we all have right now, the pandemic, made me become more and more self-aware, trying to find my desires and build on my strengths.

All went really good until just recently.

Mental negativity compounded and led to...

...bad decisions.

All the things I am talking about, be it trading psychology, be it risk management or just pure self development, were the things which I started to ignore myself.

Maybe because of frustration.
Maybe because of self pity.

Who the fucks knows.

I made one bad trade. A really bad trade.
One which cost me good money.

The funny thing was, within the process of taking the more risk than I usually do, I realised what I was about to do. I knew that this had a low probability to succeed, yet did it anyway because emotions.

I was fully aware of the fucked up thing I was about to mouse-click on but was also mentally exhausted to keep myself away from doing it.

The past years, which haven't been easy mentally, snowballed and hit me right in the fucking face.

Poof.

So, what happened next?

I revenge traded. Instantly.

Took the same amount of money I just lost and went fully back in...which was another loss.

This was the time where I also got sick (probably because of being incredibly drained).

There was also additional pressure I put on myself, telling me how I need to solve my parent's financial situation ASAP.

This is not how things work. Never.

No such thing as quick money. No matter how much leverage you are putting on that stack. You'll eventually lose it.

And that is the very point I wanna make here actually.

Making money in this market is not hard. It's actually quite simple if you understand the dynamics and some metrics.

KEEPING it and not betting more than you actually would normally, that is the biggest threat.

I lost $32,000 with me being emotionally unstable and totally out of any rational calibration.

Now, I am doing fine. Getting back into the game and doing what I always have been doing before it hit me like a tank.

The skill is here and that is what I am grateful for. I know how to be profitable but to not be irrational during challenging times, that is what I just learnt.

The moral of the story?

Whenever you feel depressed, frustrated, exhausted, down etc. Step away from the screen and..

...come back with mental clarity and razor sharp focus again.

Everything else is the recipe for disaster, no matter how long you've been in the game.

I just grew as a trader once more and I will take this lesson into this next bull cycle, keeping that day always in mind