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I've been reading through the bible and I've hit a block at Isaiah which is... pretty boring. going to try livetweeting it to see if that helps.
if you have opinions about the bible, great! I look forward to reading your thread about it when it goes viral. this exercise is not about comprehension or understanding. it is about getting me through this interminable testament
Isaiah 15
everybody is weeping and wailing in moab. it just really sucks to be, be in, or be from moab. sorry moab get well soon
everybody is weeping and wailing in moab. it just really sucks to be, be in, or be from moab. sorry moab get well soon
Isaiah 16
"form a plan. call a council. let your shadow be as if it were night, even at midday."
of course one chapter after I start a thread about being bored it turns into Lord of the Rings
"form a plan. call a council. let your shadow be as if it were night, even at midday."
of course one chapter after I start a thread about being bored it turns into Lord of the Rings
moab wailing some more. this is maybe a good thing now? we're also inebriating peoples with tears. do those ferment?
Isaiah 17
threatening damascus now like moab. good work still existing, damascus
"you will plant trustworthy plants, but you will sow a foreign seed"
that's going in my grab bag of intense curses
threatening damascus now like moab. good work still existing, damascus
"you will plant trustworthy plants, but you will sow a foreign seed"
that's going in my grab bag of intense curses
Isaiah 18
woe to the land that's like a cymbal
woe to the land that's like a cymbal
Isaiah 19
making good progress now that everyone's experiencing woe
egypt will get wrecked. though it occurs to me that threatening anyone in the ancient world with famine was a pretty good bet within a few years' range
making good progress now that everyone's experiencing woe
egypt will get wrecked. though it occurs to me that threatening anyone in the ancient world with famine was a pretty good bet within a few years' range
WHERE ARE YOUR WISEMEN NOW? pretty threatening energy
god will make egypt like a drunk, and like a woman. not sure if that means a drunken woman
some weird predictions here. egypt will come to the lord, then he hits em with a scourge, then they come back
god will make egypt like a drunk, and like a woman. not sure if that means a drunken woman
some weird predictions here. egypt will come to the lord, then he hits em with a scourge, then they come back
Isaiah 20
I have no idea what's happening here
assyria is being a jerk and buttocks are uncovered
I have no idea what's happening here
assyria is being a jerk and buttocks are uncovered
Isaiah 21
"the burden of the desert of the sea"
I think that means the sahara?
boy do I feel bad for anyone reading these tweets who's actually invested in it
next: complaints of lower back pain. every verse is action-packed and wild. a lion is talking
"the burden of the desert of the sea"
I think that means the sahara?
boy do I feel bad for anyone reading these tweets who's actually invested in it
next: complaints of lower back pain. every verse is action-packed and wild. a lion is talking
Isaiah 22
the burden of the valley of vision
climbing on rooftops. very assassin's creed 1
they're digging a fish pool
the lord is going to toss these punks "like a ball into a broad and spacious land." that's bad! I don't know what's going on
the burden of the valley of vision
climbing on rooftops. very assassin's creed 1
they're digging a fish pool
the lord is going to toss these punks "like a ball into a broad and spacious land." that's bad! I don't know what's going on
Isaiah 23
now ships are wailing
the sea is speaking, admitting it has not promoted the development of virgins
well I guess I haven't either
"cross through your land, as through a river, O daughter of the sea. you no longer have a belt."
SURE
now ships are wailing
the sea is speaking, admitting it has not promoted the development of virgins
well I guess I haven't either
"cross through your land, as through a river, O daughter of the sea. you no longer have a belt."
SURE
there will be, for tyre, something like the canticle of a harlot
who am I to argue
after the city revives in seventy years it will fornicate again with all the kingdoms of the world
just... fornicate around and find out
who am I to argue
after the city revives in seventy years it will fornicate again with all the kingdoms of the world
just... fornicate around and find out
Isaiah 24
the earth will be utterly devastated and utterly plundered
a curse will devour the earth
solitude is what remains in the city
the earth will be utterly broken! utterly crushed! utterly shaken!
the moon will be ashamed, the sun confounded
the earth will be utterly devastated and utterly plundered
a curse will devour the earth
solitude is what remains in the city
the earth will be utterly broken! utterly crushed! utterly shaken!
the moon will be ashamed, the sun confounded
Isaiah 25
this is basically when the sun comes out at the end of fantasia night on bald mountain
god found his chill and forgave the people
moab still sucks though
this is basically when the sun comes out at the end of fantasia night on bald mountain
god found his chill and forgave the people
moab still sucks though
Isaiah 26
"let us take pity on the impious one, but he will not learn justice."
words to live by tbh
"let not the dead live, let not the giants rise up again" you are LOSING me isaiah
we have conceived, but we have given birth to wind
the earth will reveal its blood
help me
"let us take pity on the impious one, but he will not learn justice."
words to live by tbh
"let not the dead live, let not the giants rise up again" you are LOSING me isaiah
we have conceived, but we have given birth to wind
the earth will reveal its blood
help me
Isaiah 27
lord just killed leviathan
don't think we've seen him since job. they were bosom chums back then, ALL the lord wanted to do was chill with leviathan
top 10 biblical betrayals for sure
lord just killed leviathan
don't think we've seen him since job. they were bosom chums back then, ALL the lord wanted to do was chill with leviathan
top 10 biblical betrayals for sure
there will be the noise of a great trumpet and those who had been lost will approach from the land of the assyrians
sounds familiar but the tricky thing about the bible is whatever it reminds me of was just imitating this
sounds familiar but the tricky thing about the bible is whatever it reminds me of was just imitating this
Isaiah 28
woe to ephraim
judge judge wine wine
this entire country is drunk all the time
all the tables have been filled with vomit & filth
"we struck a deal with death, & we formed a pact with hell. the scourge will not overwhelm us"
god has found this to be misleading
woe to ephraim
judge judge wine wine
this entire country is drunk all the time
all the tables have been filled with vomit & filth
"we struck a deal with death, & we formed a pact with hell. the scourge will not overwhelm us"
god has found this to be misleading
"attend and hear my eloquence!" pretty good attention-getter for your next essay
"coriander cannot be threshed with a saw, and a cartwheel cannot revolve over cumin. instead, coriander is shaken out with a stick, and cumin with a staff."
things are starting to make sense
"coriander cannot be threshed with a saw, and a cartwheel cannot revolve over cumin. instead, coriander is shaken out with a stick, and cumin with a staff."
things are starting to make sense
Isaiah 29
woe to ariel (not the mermaid)
you will be brought low. from the ground your voice will be like that of a python, and your eloquence will mumble from the dirt
too much good prose in this one
woe to ariel (not the mermaid)
you will be brought low. from the ground your voice will be like that of a python, and your eloquence will mumble from the dirt
too much good prose in this one
if you give a sealed book to someone who can read, he'll say, I can't, it's sealed
if you give it to someone who can't read, he'll say, I don't know how to read
you got me there isaiah
if you give it to someone who can't read, he'll say, I don't know how to read
you got me there isaiah
as if the clay were to plan against the potter, or the work to say to its maker: "you did not make me"
hello human nature
hello human nature
Isaiah 30
woe to the sons of apostasy
god is good cop again, promising delicious food and fertile lands if we just cooperate
the lord breathes fire in this one, possibly metaphorically. hope not
woe to the sons of apostasy
god is good cop again, promising delicious food and fertile lands if we just cooperate
the lord breathes fire in this one, possibly metaphorically. hope not
Isaiah 31
you can't trust horses
"Assur will fall by a sword not of man, and a sword not of man will devour him." we're back to lord of the rings
you can't trust horses
"Assur will fall by a sword not of man, and a sword not of man will devour him." we're back to lord of the rings
Isaiah 32
mourn over your breasts
mourn over your breasts
Isaiah 33
woe to you who plunder and you who despise
you will conceive heat. you will give birth to stubble
the people will be like ashes from a fire. they will be consumed by fire like a bundle of thorns
your heart will meditate on fear
woe to you who plunder and you who despise
you will conceive heat. you will give birth to stubble
the people will be like ashes from a fire. they will be consumed by fire like a bundle of thorns
your heart will meditate on fear
you will not be able to understand the dissertation of a tongue in which there is no wisdom
plunder, mast, flag. you do the math
Isaiah 34
the heavens will be folded like a book
good luck, astrologers
"my sword in heaven has been inebriated"
the pelican and the hedgehog will possess it. the lair of serpents and the pasture of ostriches. hairy ones will cry out to each other.
the ogress has lain down
the heavens will be folded like a book
good luck, astrologers
"my sword in heaven has been inebriated"
the pelican and the hedgehog will possess it. the lair of serpents and the pasture of ostriches. hairy ones will cry out to each other.
the ogress has lain down
Isaiah 35
"strengthen the lax hands and confirm the weak knees!"
"strengthen the lax hands and confirm the weak knees!"
Isaiah 36
suddenly historical
"you are trusting in egypt, that broken staff of a reed. but if a man were to lean against it, it would enter his hand and pierce it. so is pharaoh, the king of egypt, to all who trust in him."
exquisite
suddenly historical
"you are trusting in egypt, that broken staff of a reed. but if a man were to lean against it, it would enter his hand and pierce it. so is pharaoh, the king of egypt, to all who trust in him."
exquisite
great callback to 2 Kings when rabshakeh insists on speaking hebrew instead of syrian
if we're doing a clip show at least it's got some good clips
if we're doing a clip show at least it's got some good clips
Isaiah 37
isaiah has entered the tale. demonstrating how dangerous it is to ignore people who plausibly claim to be prophets
these kings' greatest fear is being mocked by teenage girls
an angel striking down 185,000 soldiers in camp really deserves more than a sentence
isaiah has entered the tale. demonstrating how dangerous it is to ignore people who plausibly claim to be prophets
these kings' greatest fear is being mocked by teenage girls
an angel striking down 185,000 soldiers in camp really deserves more than a sentence
Isaiah 38
isaiah predicts the death of hezekiah: "you shall die, and you shall not live" thanks kid no need to rub it in
hez asks for more time (couldn't hurt), god gives him 15 years
then god REWINDS TIME why the heck don't they focus on that in ccd
isaiah predicts the death of hezekiah: "you shall die, and you shall not live" thanks kid no need to rub it in
hez asks for more time (couldn't hurt), god gives him 15 years
then god REWINDS TIME why the heck don't they focus on that in ccd
hezekiah writes a sob story about how much it sucks getting old
he calls growing old "violence." he should write for the NYT
he calls growing old "violence." he should write for the NYT
Isaiah 39
hez gets gifts from babylon. should've called no takebacks
the messengers were totally casing the joint
isaiah predicts the babylonian captivity
hez's response: "okay as long as all that mess happens after I'm dead"
hez gets gifts from babylon. should've called no takebacks
the messengers were totally casing the joint
isaiah predicts the babylonian captivity
hez's response: "okay as long as all that mess happens after I'm dead"
that's all the time we have tonight. join me next time for the continuance of Isaiah, which as I understand is completely different from what came before
