The problem with negative consent - assuming that consent is granted *unless* someone says no - is that it always leaves open the possibility that there is some circumstance in which "no" would turn into "yes". There is no such thing, in this paradigm, as a hard boundary. https://twitter.com/Delafina777/status/1334248359813468160

Approaching consent this way - with the assumption that maybe *this* time, or with *this* person, or in *this* situation the person will want to hear what you have to say - places a constant burden on the person who doesn't want to hear it.

When we get fed up and insist that we should not be proselytized to at all in the first place, we get told "just say no, it's not that hard". The problem is, we can't "just say no". We have to say no *constantly*. Every day. To every person. For our entire lives.

And this is not an accident. This is a feature. It's a tactic. If we have to say "no" over and over, if we're *constantly* forced to exert the emotional labor of fending off religious advances, maybe eventually we'll get tired of it. We'll be too exhausted to resist.

And in fact, many of us probably *have hit this point* once or twice. I certainly have. I've gotten so fed up with trying to say "no" without being rude about it that I have, sometimes, just let someone tell me all about their supercessionist, deeply offensive beliefs.

I've nodded along and said "uh huh" and "okay" and taken a pamphlet and hoped it will be over soon and it won't get *too* unpleasant. And that's a problem, honestly, because these lapses of exhaustion are stories of "success" they use to justify the continued assault.

This is why I am being adamant about saying that proselytization is a problem *full stop*. Not just some kinds of proselytization. Not just in some situations, or with some specific tactics. All of it. ALL. OF. IT.

ALL of it is non-consensual. Unless someone comes *to you* and says "please tell me more about your religion, I'm curious" then consent does not exist and assuming that maybe it does is *already* a violation of boundaries.