CW - discussion of pedophilia

THANK YOU

This is not the only example, but it is one I know of - pedophilia OCD. So many people are afraid to talk about it b/c of stigma, but you can't help intrusive thoughts. People with pedophilia OCD are NOT pedophiles. Know the difference. https://twitter.com/radicalsapphic/status/1334173455206510592

Most intrusive thoughts are things that are the opposite of you. They're things that you do not like or enjoy.

People with pedophilia OCD are NOT sexually attracted to children. They find sexual acts toward children to be SO HARMFUL that they obsessively worry about those acts.

So, for example, if they care about a child a lot they may fear that they will accidently harm the child, or they'll fear that they harmed the child in the past and forgot about it, or they'll fear that they'll lose control of their body somehow and harm the child.

They may do strange things to avoid giving themselves the chance to harm a child - like avoiding physical contact entirely or even completely avoiding any contact with a child they care about. They may do checking behavior to be sure they have not caused any harm.

I do not have pedophilia OCD but I do have OCD around harming small things that are dependant on me - like children or animals.

I DO NOT want to harm them. I'm afraid that I'll suddenly lose control of my body & hurt them. I have intrusive images flash in my mind of hurting them

Last night I was petting @NeuroCoolWheels kitten who is very very small and cute. He's very shy and because I'm gentle with him he's warmed up to where he'll sit in my lap now. I was loving on him gently when I suddenly had an intrusive thought.

CW: mention of harm to animals

It popped into my head out of nowhere

"What if I accidently lose control of myself & break this kittens neck. He's so tiny and helpless. It would be easy."

I didn't want to do that. The thought made me sick.

But even though I didn't want to do that... I was so afraid I would. And because I was afraid I would, I couldn't stop thinking about it.

That's the "obsessive" part of OCD.

I kept thinking "what if I hurt this cat? What if I hurt him? But what if I hurt him?"

Then the compulsive part comes - my compulsion this time was that I wanted to put him far away from me. I wanted to get out of arms reach of the cats.

The kitten was really enjoying being pet, so it wasn't *his* preference that I not keep petting him. I had a compulsion to stop.

Because I'm in OCD therapy, I could recognize what was happening & knew that this was an obsession/
compulsion cycle. So instead, I kept petting the cat

He was very happy about this and didn't stop purring

You know what never happened? I never hurt that cat. Not even a little

It's the same process for people with pedophilia OCD.

The intrusive thoughts are not "I want to touch this child because I'm attracted to them"

The intrusive thoughts are "I'm afraid I will touch this child and that would be really awful because that's very harmful to kids"

Unfortunately, people with pedophilia OCD are often afraid to or unable to seek therapy for it because if you say you have intrusive thoughts about pedophilia, people assume you're sexually attracted to children. There is a lot of shame and stigma there.

People who ARE sexually attracted to children need therapy too, but it's an entirely different treatment process than what people with pedophilia OCD need

People with pedophilia OCD do not want to act in sexual ways toward children. They are horrified by the thought of doing so.

The problem is, people with OCD often doubt our own thoughts & feelings

So even though I know I love that kitten & didn't want to hurt it, because my brain has OCD I became fixated on it & became afraid that because I can't stop thinking about it, it must be something I want

With OCD, the more you don't want to think about something, the more you can't stop thinking about it.

Here's a simple example that even people without OCD can usually do to demonstrate it.

In the next tweet I'm going to give you an instruction. Follow it exactly.

Don't think of an elephant.

You can think of anything else you want. Anything. Absolutely anything else.

But DO NOT under any circumstances think of an elephant.

If you think about an elephant you will fail this test.

Are you thinking about an elephant? Stop it.

Were you able to avoid thinking about an elephant?

Probably not.

Most people have intrusive thoughts sometimes. If you don't have OCD, you likely don't notice it or just go "huh, that was a weird thought" but u know ur own values & know that u won't act on every random thought

With OCD, we get an intrusive thought and we analyze it. We obsess. We worry that this thought makes us bad. We do things to try to avoid the thought. And the more we try to avoid thinking about it... the more we think about it. The more we think about it, the more we worry.

It's an endless cycle until you stop the cycle.

I stopped my obsessive-compulsive cycle the other night by refusing to listen to my OCD telling me to get away from the cat. Instead I proved to my brain that I can continue petting the cat without hurting it. And I did.

It's hard. It's terrifying. Because the reality is the bad thing we're trying to avoid COULD happen, it's just not likely.

I've never harmed an animal before, so it's really unlikely. That doesn't make me stop worrying about it. But each time I prove my brain wrong, it's easier

But people with OCD need support and help and reminders from other people that we are not our thoughts and that we CAN do things like pet a cat without accidently hurting it. OCD is also called the "doubting disease" because it's centered on self doubt. What if I'm wrong?

People with pedophilia OCD need others to remind them that they can have intrusive thoughts and fear that they might harm a child... that doesn't mean that they want to or that they will. It doesn't mean they're evil or bad or wrong.

But they rarely get that feedback.

Certain types of OCD are treated as evil intrusive thoughts.

People without OCD think that maybe these thoughts ARE you secret desires... and that is the absolute WORST fear of someone with OCD.

Intrusive thoughts are not in your control. They do not reflect who you are.

ALL types of intrusive thoughts need to be treated as acceptable.

It is OK to have any kind of intrusive thought.

It is OK to have pedophilia OCD. It does NOT make you evil.

It's NOT ok to touch children sexually. But people with pedophilia OCD are very unlikely to do that.

Exactly. The intrusive thoughts are so terrifying because they're things you really really don't want to do. You're just terrified that you will. https://twitter.com/kitty169310/status/1334268310351978506?s=19