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I want to follow up on yesterday's thread with a slightly more narrowly-focused thread: namely, no matter how famous you are, no one owes you touching privileges.
And like, that applies from "I am King Shit of Shit Mountain" all the way down to "I am Tiny Turd, King Shit's biographer." You don't get to touch people who don't consent to being touched.
Sometimes at cons, people want to take a picture with me. I am generally fine with this. I will always position myself as appropriate, and about three years ago, I added a step:
"May I put my hand on your shoulder/your waist/your arm/put my arm around your waist?" Always depending on the situation and what seems both comfortable and natural.
People are SHOCKED to be asked. And generally pleased, and often follow up with the same question, which means everyone has consent, and we all look much more comfortable and relaxed in the picture.
But here's the thing: I've been snapped at by a few other creators for asking, once explicitly with, "Now they're going to expect us ALL to ask!"
Yes.
And?
Yes.
And?
I don't want people to feel COMPELLED to consent to touching people in a photo op, and if that had been what he was saying, that would be a problem. But this was a dude with a habit of "accidentally" touching female fans on the butt. He wasn't worried about coercion.
ASK BEFORE YOU TOUCH. I don't care if you're the most famous person alive. ASK.
