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Four years ago I met The Queen. 
To do it, I had to overcome a lifelong fear.
A motivational thread.
(Photos at the end)
To do it, I had to overcome a lifelong fear.
A motivational thread.
(Photos at the end)
When I was 13 years old, my English teacher asked me to stand up in class and read from a book. Everyone was taking turns.
I didnât feel nervous, but as I started talking I realised my voice was shaking uncontrollably. I was confused and embarrassed.
I didnât feel nervous, but as I started talking I realised my voice was shaking uncontrollably. I was confused and embarrassed.
From that point on, whenever I had to speak in front of other people, the memory would come back. I felt nervous of it happening, which made it happen.
By the time I went to university, I had adopted a narrative.
I would tell people I was just "bad at public speaking".
By the time I went to university, I had adopted a narrative.
I would tell people I was just "bad at public speaking".
Years later, one of my friends asked me to be best man at his wedding, which was over a year away.
I agreed, but the thought of giving a speech weighed on me for the entire year.
On the day of the wedding, his mum had to give me beta blockers to help me through
I agreed, but the thought of giving a speech weighed on me for the entire year.
On the day of the wedding, his mum had to give me beta blockers to help me through
As my career progressed and had more public speaking responsibilities, I created a defence mechanism.
I would start any talk by joking that I was terrified of public speaking, as a way to take the pressure off slightly.
This was my narrative.
I would start any talk by joking that I was terrified of public speaking, as a way to take the pressure off slightly.
This was my narrative.
One day, at a roundtable discussion with about 20 professionals, I had to run out of the room.
I went to the bathroom and almost had my first ever panic attack.
I went to the bathroom and almost had my first ever panic attack.
At that point I decided to talk to a friend whoâs a cognitive hypnotherapist.
She explained that sometimes a single event during childhood, while the brain is still developing, can compound into a lifetime of consequences.
She explained that sometimes a single event during childhood, while the brain is still developing, can compound into a lifetime of consequences.
We identified the source of my fear, and she helped me to re-frame my memory of that childhood experience.
She also advised me to change my narrative. By telling people I was bad at public speaking, I was further cementing this position in my mind.
She also advised me to change my narrative. By telling people I was bad at public speaking, I was further cementing this position in my mind.
So I stopped telling people that. I started telling people I was fine at public speaking.
Although I still felt nervous, I would pretend to be confident, and this made me feel more confident.
I started to put myself out there more, volunteering to speak at events.
Although I still felt nervous, I would pretend to be confident, and this made me feel more confident.
I started to put myself out there more, volunteering to speak at events.
For the first time I saw it as a skill that could be learned through practice, rather than an unchangeable trait of my personality.
In 2016 we entered our startup into a pitching competition.
I drove to the bootcamp rehearsing my pitch for the entire 5 hour car journey.
It was terrifying - a whole day of pitches, a stage, audience, panel of judges. It went ok⌠my nerves showed but I got through it.
I drove to the bootcamp rehearsing my pitch for the entire 5 hour car journey.
It was terrifying - a whole day of pitches, a stage, audience, panel of judges. It went ok⌠my nerves showed but I got through it.
We got through to the final, to be held at St Jamesâ Palace in London.
At that point the Queen was not scheduled to attend. Sheâd never attended in the past.
At that point the Queen was not scheduled to attend. Sheâd never attended in the past.
Now came the big choice. This would undoubtedly be the biggest and most high profile pitch possible. Celebrities, royalty, and mega CEOs would be in the audience.
My co-founder doesn't mind public speaking and offered to do final pitch alone.
My co-founder doesn't mind public speaking and offered to do final pitch alone.
It seemed like an obvious and easy way out.
I would be free to enjoy the palace, drink champagne and eat canapĂŠs without any stress or nerves.
But instead I said I wanted to do it too. I wanted to see how far Iâd come.
I would be free to enjoy the palace, drink champagne and eat canapĂŠs without any stress or nerves.
But instead I said I wanted to do it too. I wanted to see how far Iâd come.
We agreed to do half each.
A couple of days before the event, we got an unexpected email.
The Queen would be attending the event for the first time, and she would be meeting everyone who was pitching!
Non-pitching team members would be relegated to the back of the room
A couple of days before the event, we got an unexpected email.
The Queen would be attending the event for the first time, and she would be meeting everyone who was pitching!
Non-pitching team members would be relegated to the back of the room
Thankfully, I was pitching!
People tell me our pitch went well. I donât really remember.
But I do know that if Iâd taken the easy way out, I would have been stuck at the back of the room.
People tell me our pitch went well. I donât really remember.
But I do know that if Iâd taken the easy way out, I would have been stuck at the back of the room.
The Queen was utterly charming of course.
A small but firm handshake, undeterred by my manic stare.
And Fergie was, of course, amazing.
My takeaways from this experience:
- Your personality is not set in stone. You were formed by your experiences, and you can reform.
- Be careful of the narrative you create for yourself.
- Do things that scare you. It may just pay off.
- Your personality is not set in stone. You were formed by your experiences, and you can reform.
- Be careful of the narrative you create for yourself.
- Do things that scare you. It may just pay off.
