cw: dead pet, may be depressing to read

I think I just realized that a small event from my past shaped me more than I thought

I was trying to sleep and I suddenly had a thought that I hadn't had in a long time. When I was a very young kid I had a cat named Bubbles. One night-

-some members of my family woke up hearing meowing, not being able to find the source, went back to bed

in the morning it was discovered that my cat had gotten stuck behind the couch in a way that choked them to death.

thinking back to it I think the reason I'm so empathetic-

-comes from this experience, knowing that they died alone in scared it one of my most painful thoughts. Without this I don't think I'd be nearly as empathetic as I am today. I worry about the well being of anything that can have even a basic thought, "wouldn't hurt a fly" levels-

-of empathy.

it's impossible to say if I would have turned out different without the knowledge that my cat suffered in his final moments but I think this was really formative for me.

also the idea that it wasn't inevitable, the fact that if they kept looking he wouldn't have died

I feel like a lot of my views on things can be traced at least partially back to this

sorry for the depressing tweets, I just felt it was worth sharing