CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE IN KENYA

1. In Nandi County, 12 year old girls are having sex with adult men. I talked to a mother who lives in a village in Nandi yesterday. We brainstormed about possible solutions. She wondered if female circumcision could help. I wondered if brothels help.

2. We agreed that female circumcision is not the solution. We wondered why such young girls were being convinced to have sex with adult men. We wondered how and why these men convince such young children to have sex with them. She suggested removal of the pennis of such men.

3. She explained that in some cases, parents were offering their daughters for sex: "na shida hata hao wazazi wanauza the girls, sex for money." "Mi nikiona watu wanaimba bbi na women reps cannot fight for girl child, what is their work, what is the work of the women leaders."

4. After a painful long discussion, I sat for a moment, reading some studies, wondering about what pragmatic solutions could be offered to men who are willing to pay for sex. I packed many thoughts into one tweet and some tweeps ordered nails and hammers to crucify me. Sit, down.

5. Child sexual abuse is NOT defined as rape. When many people see the words 'child sexual abuse', they think ONLY about rape and paedophiles. Child sexual abuse has a much broader definition and I invite you to read the definition by the World Health Organization attached below.

6. Child sexual abuse is not ONLY about power and dominance. That is just a PART of the explanation despite the fact that it is the easiest, shortest and most vivid explanation of child sexual abuse. It is too simplistic to attribute one factor to explain a very complex problem.

7. How is sex education coming along? Are we talking openly about sexuality with young girls and boys in Kenya? Do young girls understand that an adult man is enticing her using gifts or complements? Do they know how to react? Do boys, later men learn about limits not to cross?

8. SOME adult men engage in sexual abuse of young girls because they have no sex partners. Careful now, remember, we said, child sexual abuse is not necessarily rape. They entice the girls whichever way to a point where the 12 years old girls end up having sex with such adults.

9. There are also adult men who abuse young girls sexually despite the fact that they have sexual partners. Fathers have been known to abuse their own daughters in households where they have a sexual partner, that is, the mother of the young girl. An absolutely chilling scenario.

10. Sex workers are our sisters and brothers. Instead of harassing them, they should be dignified. They offer their sexual services in hiding. In Nairobi, Mombasa and Kisumu, they whispered about their services whenever I was in town. Government does not take them seriously.

11.I am NOT asking for rapists. I am not asking for paedophiles. I am asking for men who wish to have sex with a woman after consent. Instead of enticing 12 year old school girls would legalising prostitution give them a possibility to have sex legally and leave tiny girls alone?

12. Men, married or unmarried, who express a wish to have sex with a sex worker or an adult woman after consent, whether they are paying for it or not, as agreed by both parties, are not rapists. Men who use force without consent, are rapists. Rapists belong in jail if not death.

13. It goes without saying, that rapists and paedophiles should never be allowed to come into contact with sex workers. I myself have extended family members who are sex workers. I would hope that it is possible to legalise prostitution in Kenya. What then are the pros and cons?

14. If legalised, sex workers can be regulated in the sense that they could set up legal brothels with security, they could be tested and certified to be free from STIs etc. They could be taxed, contribute to NHIF, earn pensions when they retire etc. Normalizing, legalizing them.

15. The challenge is, sex trafficking could occur. Also, young girls and young adults might be lured into such sex dens if corruption occurs amongst regulators. But wait. Sex brothels exist in Kenya already. But we want to pretend they don't. Major newspapers have reported this.

16. How would one know if a rapist or paedophille or just a man wishing to have sex is the one paying a professional sex worker a visit? The vulnerability question is as important to ponder. Remember, sex workers can be raped too. Sex is not just sex. It is a very complex affair.

17. Sex workers don't need mercy. They need good laws and good policies. Sex workers are not always sex workers because some one forced them to become that which they are. Some love their trade and that is fine. Some, however are slaves of traffickers, sold in dark 'sex markets.'

18. The question remains: should prostitution and brothels be legalised to give THAT percentage of the population of non-rapist men who wish to have sex, a different, legal avenue to approach a sex worker, pay for sex, have sex and leave in peace instead of enticing 12 year olds?

19. Very many school girls keep getting pregnant. What about STIs? Do the adult men or even young peers of the 12 year old girls spread diseases amongst themselves? What about the pain all these issues causes families when they happen even in non-rape cases? What should be done?

20. Sex education would help. Parents should call a pennis a pennis, a vagina a vagina and a a breast a breast and not, 'your ka-thing' 'chuchu yako' 'kitu ya kukojoa' 'your thing'. Say it. Tell children that no one should touch your pennis, vagina, breast until you are over 18.

21. And parents should use languages their children understand best. Sex offenders should be punished severely and in a manner that sets an example for the rest of the population. But in a country unable to prosecute mega-corruption and jail thieves of taxes, is there real hope?

22. What happens during lunch breaks in Nairobi? A newspaper story narrated that many hotel rooms are temporarily full. Why? People leaving their offices for an hour to read psalms and sing hymns? Instead of one night stands, many one daylight stands. Let us be honest friends.

23. We must not bury our heads in the sand like we do with many other societal issues. We must be willing to debate these issues maturely and patiently. We must be pragmatic. Most important, we must be willing to ask and DEBATE difficult QUESTIONS outside our usual COMFORT zones.

24. Very many brothels exist in Kenya. Correct. In cities, lunch time is also sex time for some people, as we have seen. Correct. But legalizing brothels and protecting sex workers that will anyway always continue existing is where some privileged Kenyans want to draw the line?

25. The law in Kenya forbids "living on the earnings of sex work" and "soliciting or importuning for immoral purposes." A corrupt government full of thieves of citizens taxes enforcing morality upon sex workers. A sex worker who earns honest wages is better that corrupt a GoK.

26. We must not forget, boys are also abused sexually by adult women and men and their peers too (girls). A whole new crucial debate. Today, we have mainly focussed on young girls. Especially insightful is a 2009 study by Sara Jerop Ruto, FREE on the net:
https://bit.ly/3qinMsv 

27. And so someone will comment: teacher, women rape too, and female paedophiles exist too. What punishment should they receive? Well, life in prison, if not death, as I suggested for men. Another will ask: teacher should there be legal brothels for women to visit? Well, why not?

28. Women involved in rape against men or against fellow women as well as female paedophiles should also never set foot in brothels where male sex workers offer sex services for peace-loving women who are seeking to have legal sex, pay for it, and go their way until next visit.

29. Male sex workers can be raped by women with histories of raping men. That too, goes without saying. Across the world there is a lot of stigma attached to women who seek services of male sex workers. So, that, is a whole new, but crucial debate too in a world seeking equality.

30. These are absolutely complex, emotive debates across the world. It is not just a problem of Nandi County in Kenya. Shouting at my question will not help. Insulting me because of my question will not help. Imagining that sexual abuse is only always rape is wrong. Read, debate.

31. Here is the original tweet and thread that stirred this debate. Many tweeps assumed that sexual abuse means rape or paedophilia MUST be involved. FALSE. The World Health Organisation offers a broader definition of child sexual abuse as we have seen. https://twitter.com/johnnjenga/status/1333801058712227843?s=19