“elliot was a good lesbian role model” if u were inspired by him to come out as a lesbian...his coming out doesn’t detract from your identity or experience. i understand feeling like you no longer have this specific role model but he still influenced you and you can keep that.
to admit a fault, used to get that same feeling when a trans man came out after IDing as a lesbian. not out of any terf-like resentment, but out of fear that i was ALSO just a trans man lying to myself, if my inspiration to come out ended up being a trans man.
the truth is, we can all inspire each other! my college friend, who is a trans woman, personally told me that i gave her the courage to come out. our identities aren’t the same, but being open about my own inspired her.
i really doubt that elliot would tell his lesbian fans that they need to reconsider their identity just because he did. nobody can ID as a lesbian for a significant period of time and not experience the intense lesbophobia that comes with it. they know!
don’t focus on the identity. focus on what really made you come out: yourself! seeing somebody have the courage to announce who they are gave you the strength to do the same. YOU did it for you, not elliot.
this isn’t a message saying “identities are fluid and you should constantly be considering changing yours.” it’s just saying that it’s okay to be yourself.
because now, elliot has reached an entirely new group of people who are afraid to change their label, AND people who identify in the same way. his influence has simply extended—it hasn’t excluded anyone.
also, we’re not a goddamn team. we are a community out of necessity to build solidarity in numbers. we find each other through similarities and create strong bonds. but there is no Lesbian Side, and there are no traitors.
if elliot inspired you, keep that. it’s yours!
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