Autistic people often show empathy differently than non-autistic people.

When other people are discussing their problems, many of us tend to share similar anecdotes from our own lives.

This isn’t to detract from what the other person is saying. It’s because we want to help.

When two autistic people are talking, it can look like each person is just talking about themselves.

Actually, we’re paying close attention to the other person and telling them about ourselves as a way of demonstrating that we’re comfortable being vulnerable with them.

We share similar experiences as a way of letting the other person know that we understand them.

Autistic people are used to feeling misunderstood by others, so we like to demonstrate our empathy and understanding by also being vulnerable about things we’ve gone through.

It’s not like each autistic person in a conversation is talking about themselves in a way that’s totally unrelated to the other person.

We’re thinking about their words, considering their experiences, and then creatively connecting that experience to one of our own.

Sharing similar experiences lends itself quite well to problem-solving, which is something autistic people tend to be oriented towards.

We’d much rather compare experiences to find solutions, than offer kind words but do nothing to try and improve the other person’s situation.

Every autistic person is an individual, and we all express empathy in different ways. Some of us approach it in a typical manner.

But many of us are misinterpreted in situations where we mean well, because of cross-neurotype (that is, cross-cultural) misunderstanding.