Breathe. Stay calm. Focus. Take each element as it comes. I felt like I was preparing to compete beam in Olympic finals again, but I was actually steeling myself to read this piece. NOTHING could have prepared me for this minefield. Back in a minute. Once my head stops spinning. https://twitter.com/JulietMacur/status/1333468728600748033

At first it seemed Maggie Haney could see her flaws, was going to acknowledge her mistakes, and perhaps even apologize for and change her “severe aggressive behavior” as a coach. Nope. She switched to PASSIVE aggressive behavior and claimed her mistake was caring too much.

Her list of what she would change if she could go back in time was either 1) a deliberate whitewash of the complaints against her, 2) proof she truly believes she’s not abusive or 3) a deliberate swipe at those who dared call out her abuse.

That she is willing to inflict even more damage by saying “so much of this comes down to perspective” is salt in the wound. Anyone who can’t agree on what constitutes abuse and won’t listen to those willing to share its enduring effect on them doesn’t deserve reinstatement.

Any elite gymnast would be triggered by this. Not a single one thinks elite training should be easy, fun at all times, stress/pain/risk or fatigue-free. All of us expected our faults, weaknesses & shortcomings to be pointed out and worked on at all times. That’s OUR perspective.

The warped, twisted perspective of some coaches is that we can only achieve greatness through overtraining & extreme forced compliance. That perspective blurred what should be a very clear line between hard training & abuse.

This should not be a tug-of-war w/ coaches who are explaining, defending, or normalizing abusive training to athletes who know the difference. The fact that it has twisted some parents into pretzels as they try to support a coach because THEIR child is doing okay is worrisome.

The sad & alarming part is the seeming belief that as long as there was enough good gymnastics, smiling, laughing & music in the gym or that Maggie treated Laurie like family and did so many wonderful things with & for her that it should outweigh substantiated abuse.

I've no doubt there were good times and many reasons to be grateful, but I implore you to imagine every time you’re called “weak, lazy or messed up in the head” or each day you’ve fought off depression as a nail hammered into wood. You can remove the nail, but the hole remains.

Gymnasts are not fully developed adults in a professional sport. They are children for much of their gymnastics careers and that should be the determining factor in how this sport is overseen. With that in mind here is my reminder to coaches:

As you train a talented young gymnast they are also going through a complex developmental process - childhood to preadolescence to adolescence to adulthood. If you dominate that little human’s time and space each day you better damn well be qualified to at least “do no damage.”

The physical, emotional, intellectual & social development of a child is ongoing & incomplete regardless of how rapidly they progress in gymnastics, how mature they seem, or how uncanny their potential & level of commitment is. Your words, actions & behavior around them matters.

Regardless of how eager, willing & able they are to dream big, do everything humanly possible to achieve those lofty goals while trying to please you & make their families proud, you may NOT take advantage of their compliant & indomitable spirit. Why? Because you can break it.

If you don’t feel the weight of this responsibility or you lack the expertise, maturity, self-control & discipline to work with children, teens or very young adults w/out losing your temper, patience or common sense you really are in the wrong business.

I'm not angry or upset this piece was written or that Maggie Haney was given the opportunity to share her side and parents got to show their support. We can’t fix what we don't know or can’t see and this was extremely informative.

To clarify in the event this wasn't clear. Trust me, I am angry and upset, but not because this was published. I am pleased to see the denial factor exposed. Denial of an existing problem can be insidiously dangerous, especially if the denial is obfuscated. Now it's in print.