Hello, I’m very much alive. Even though I really really should be dead. Long story short my heart stopped 3 times last week and I had to be put on an ECMO machine.

That in and of itself is remarkable. What’s even more so is my MRI is normal. No brain damage. Zero. I’ve been trying to work out the stats of that but it’s lottery winning remote

Did I escape unscathed? Yes and no. Luckily I don’t think my body went catabolic (burning muscle for fuel), so my muscles haven’t wasted that much. I can walk up and down stairs, run and even exercise. But fine motor things like typing is....tough.

That said I’ve gone from waking up with a tracheostomy to here in a week. I definitely count that as a win

I’m sorry if I don’t reply to all your messages. That said, the more I type the better I get at it. I was intubated a week ago so I’ve had quite the journey. On Monday things were......slow, distant, far away. Tuesday I had the MRI on my brain

And then on Friday something just went off in my head.

“The mind commands the body and it obeys. The mind orders itself and meets resistance”

To those who “Can’t cope” with a simple mask during these COVID, try and live with a tracheostomy and a central line. Thank Christ mine are out

Try spending more than a few seconds with a tube down your nose feeding you that means you can’t turn your head one way, a large tube in the vein in your neck which means you can’t turn it the other. But a simple cloth mask is “Too uncomfortable”.

“But the mask lowers your oxygen.” Do you know what else does? The machine forcing air through the surgical cut made to the middle of your throat. It really is your choice

As an aside: a couple I know distantly through marriage are dead due to Covid, leaving a small child. they contracted it from the school. The kid is going to get a monumental ton of survivors guilt one day.