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So today in our class while discussing #JaneAusten’s #PrideAndPrejudice, we were having this conversation about the most accomplished man or woman for the purpose of marriage.
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I asked the students the simple question of what it means to be accomplished in a man or a woman. Most of the girls were of the opinion(s) that a boy has to be educated, handsome, rich (the Civic and iPhone 12 type rich), from a respectable family, etc etc.
The boys thought the accomplished girl has to be one who is pretty, educated, one who knows to cook and clean, one who will take care of their families’ happiness, and one who has a little bit of money to come with.
What struck me was the fact that none of these 21-24 year old students actually gave me an answer which sought happiness in their marriages and married life, none which sought peace and progress, none which included any working together to achieve anything.
Part of it may be the views of Jane Austen which we had not long ago discussed where she claims that “happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance”, but that really shouldn’t be all that these 21-24 year olds could think while describing their ideal partner.
A large part of it is the status quo in our society which makes these young people think the way they do. Our class system makes us look at the rich with so much fascination that we forget money should never be the ultimate goal of one’s life. To us, money means all!
Our social structure doesn’t teach us being comfortable in our own skins, it doesn’t allow us to remain content in our financial circumstance. The rich, because of the control they have over everything, are idealised and the poor do nothing but all that would make them rich.
We look for riches even in relations like marriage. Happiness is not even an object as long as money is there because we have somehow started to believe that riches bring happiness. I’m not saying that money doesn’t make life easier; of course it does, but it’s certainly not all.
If somehow, we raise a generation which seeks happiness in life more than money, which is comfortable in its own skin, & not fascinated with an other, & believes in working towards what it wants and is content with what it achieves, we could be in a different, better world.
