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Rhythm games hold a special place in my heart because they taught me that with enough determination and the right framework, I could overcome even my most crippling weaknesses. A story about how a boy who couldn't tie his own shoelaces become a sponsored Guitar Hero player. 1/
I was diagnosed with Dyspraxia early on in my life after my mum noticed that I had a lot of problems with movements. Even at the age of 10, I couldn't catch a ball, couldn't walk straight, couldn't tie my own shoelaces. 2/
It was bad enough that I had to see a therapist to help me at least reach a baseline level of functionality in day-to-day life. My dad, a jock by any measure of the word (rugby captain, track sprinter, boxer, personal trainer etc. etc.), was always disappointed. 3/
He tried in vain to get me into sports. Anything he could think of. Swimming, soccer, golf. It was all... terrible. The only saving grace was that I was reasonably intelligent and doing well in school. 4/
By the time I was 14, I had accepted in my head that I was always going to be the weakest person in any given room. Slowest runner, most uncoordinated, last to be picked for any sport. 5/
I leaned into that identity and instead became really popular for knowing more about computers/tech/video games than anyone else around me. 6/
Which isn't a bad thing, especially if it's a choice you make! I don't want to turn this into a sob story because it isn't. I had a great group of my friends and I enjoyed my teenage years. 7/
But going back to rhythm games. One day, I was wandering around the shopping mall before class when a new video game caught my eye. Guitar Hero II. There was a display kit at the store, and anyone was able to play it for free. 8/
Someone was playing Dead! by My Chemical Romance, and I just happened to be going through my emo/punk phase then. I picked the plastic guitar up after that and played a round on easy mode. I sucked, but I was hooked. It was insanely fun. 9/
I would go back week-after-week, playing a few songs at a time before class. I could see myself getting better. As someone who only learnt how to tie his shoelaces when he was 12, it was pretty exciting to see myself getting visibly better at coordinating two different limbs. 10/
Eventually the store took the display set down, and I managed to convince my parents to buy me a set of my own. I played the game obsessively. About half a year later, I managed to pass a song on the hardest difficulty, Expert. I was ecstatic. 11/
This was in 2007, and the Guitar Hero craze was starting to take-off worldwide and in Singapore too. There were tournaments. On a whim, I decided to take part in one. I didn't win the first time, but I didn't do horribly either. 12/
It was the first real tournament I had played in, and it awakened the competitive side of me. I was determined to succeed, dyspraxia be damned. It was the first vaguely physical activity I was ever good at! 13/
I sat down and studied charts, broke down each part of the song, played them at half speed over and over again till I got them right. Committed the finger positions to memory. 14/
My first year competing was decent, and I managed to get into the finals for the regional qualifiers of the World Cyber Games through some luck with how the brackets were assigned. 15/
The champion was obviously way beyond my league and I got completely destroyed. But he was also a smug motherfucker. I vowed to defeat him the next year. 16/
I doubled down on my efforts to practice, spending most of my free time on forums trading tips with other Guitar Hero obsessives around the world. Tournament season came around again next year and I dominated the entire circuit in Singapore. 17/
The guy that beat me the previous year? I crushed him 3-0 in the local finals for the World Cyber Games. I then went on to get runner-up in the Pan-Asian regionals. 18/
The prize money for each tournament was only a few hundred dollars, but it was a huge amount for a 15 year old kid. I don't remember the meal I bought all my friends who were supporting me the first time I won, but I remember how euphoric it felt. 19/
I ended up getting sponsored after that, flying around the world for tournaments during the three years I was playing competitively. One of my most memorable experiences was at the Electronic Sports World Cup, which took place in Paris Disneyland. 20/
They booked out the entire park for the competitors after the tournament was over and the entire atrium was converted into a giant dance floor. Wild. 21/
I think I had a big case of burnout after that run. I didn't touch a rhythm game again for years. There was a lot of pain and frustration involved in getting world-class at something you don't have a natural talent for. 22/
You know what's the funny thing though? Everyone *thought* I was a natural. There's a lot of carryover from one rhythm game to another, and after all the grinding with Guitar Hero I just got really good at picking up new rhythm games. 23/
It made me realise that I had subconsciously developed a framework which acted as a scaffolding for other physical skills that required hand-eye coordination. My typing speed during that period skyrocketed to 110wpm. 24/
I have a multitude of learning difficulties. Dyspraxia, dyslexia, ADHD. Many things don't come naturally to me. It was this experience that made me rethink what it means to learn a skill. Or learn anything at all, really. 25/
After that, I decided that it was perhaps time to start to get fit. This was perhaps even more intimidating than Guitar Hero, probably because of lingering trauma. Till today, I lost strength far faster than anyone else I know if I don't work out. 26/
I think I did pretty well for myself, though. When I first started, I couldn't even do a push-up. Heck, I was relegated to desk duties in the army because of my dyspraxia. Today, I can do a weighted pull-up with half of my body weight. 27/
Perhaps because of all of this, I find a deep satisfaction in drilling physical skills, even if I don't start off very good at them. I dabbled with parkour and pole dancing in the past, and wasn't too terrible at them. 28/
I can shake cocktails better than most professional bartenders, but that's also because I spent hours practicing with rice in a shaker till I figured out that I could get feedback from how ice in the shaker sounds when rotating around the tin. 29/
In fact, one of the reasons why cooking is so satisfying for me is because when I create something delicious with my hands I know I did it while the genetic odds were stacked against me. 30/
At the end of the day, I still feel slightly torn over all of this. I have plenty of proof that it's possible to get better at stuff you're shit at. But I'm also largely aware that it's sometimes also best to lean in and do what you're naturally good at 31/
It's a weird feeling. I recently picked up rhythm games seriously again this year, and there was definitely a lot of rust to polish off. I still can't get over how damn satisfying it feels to almost perfect a song that you were struggling to pass just a few months ago. 32/
Where am I going with this? Frankly, I have no idea. I wrote this on a whim. But I suppose I wanted to put the story out there for anyone who needed to read it. Nothing about you is set in stone, and you don't need to resign yourself to fate if you don't want to. 33/
But I also want to emphasise that that most definitely does not mean you should force yourself to get better at things you hate. I still suck at a multitude of things that I have no intention of getting better at. 34/
I still can't spell to save my life, but I have spell-check for that. I can't pay attention to anything that I have no interest in for more than 2 minutes, and maybe that's not such a bad thing. 35/
I still can't catch a damn ball nor can I swim till this day. I was 19 before I learned how to cycle. And you know what, it really has no impact on my life either way. I'm fine that way. 36/
Perhaps the answer is to just lean into what you enjoy. If you suck at it, you'll get better. But you need to love it enough to have fun with the ride along the way. Fin. 37/37
