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You know that feeling when someone has loaded the dishwasher wrong? That’s how I feel about most 
decorations
So, I present: How to make your Christmas tree look like it wasn’t decorated by an 8 year old
thread contains strong language & advice that may ruin relationships
decorationsSo, I present: How to make your Christmas tree look like it wasn’t decorated by an 8 year old
thread contains strong language & advice that may ruin relationships
1/10
Put an old blanket under the tree stand. Now you can effortlessly slide it in & out of place without scratching the floor. Pull it out to decorate; this particularly helps with the string of lights. Afterwards you can wrap the stand in the blanket or put presents on it
Put an old blanket under the tree stand. Now you can effortlessly slide it in & out of place without scratching the floor. Pull it out to decorate; this particularly helps with the string of lights. Afterwards you can wrap the stand in the blanket or put presents on it
2/10
Let your baubles float. Ideally they don’t touch any of the tree branches around them, this makes them look magical.
Let your baubles float. Ideally they don’t touch any of the tree branches around them, this makes them look magical.
3/10
Get big and small baubles and hang them at different depths of your tree branches.
Wandering eyes can then catch glimpses of sparkle everywhere. It’s 3D decorating.
Get big and small baubles and hang them at different depths of your tree branches.
Wandering eyes can then catch glimpses of sparkle everywhere. It’s 3D decorating.
4/10
Get 3x more baubles than you think you’ll need.
Get 3x more baubles than you think you’ll need.
5/10
Unless your tree is white, your string of lights should be green, allowing the cables to disappear, especially at night. Unless you WANT people to stare at your cables. Is that what you want? Really? Yeah? Didn’t think so.
Unless your tree is white, your string of lights should be green, allowing the cables to disappear, especially at night. Unless you WANT people to stare at your cables. Is that what you want? Really? Yeah? Didn’t think so.
6/10
Get 3x the length/amount of lights that you think you’ll need.
Get 3x the length/amount of lights that you think you’ll need.
7/10
Fuck tinsel.
Fuck tinsel.
8/10
Blue or blinking lights?! Get out of this thread. You don’t deserve nice things.
Blue or blinking lights?! Get out of this thread. You don’t deserve nice things.
9/10
Your kid/nephew/friend-who-sucks-at-crafts made ornaments? Oh. So cute.
Hang these in a “special place”, at the back of the tree where no one will ever notice these monstrosities.
Your kid/nephew/friend-who-sucks-at-crafts made ornaments? Oh. So cute.
Hang these in a “special place”, at the back of the tree where no one will ever notice these monstrosities.
10/10
Expert level: Make your own decorations out of home bake polymer clay and cookie cutters.
I made star of david ornaments this way for our Chrismakkuh. They last for years allowing you to brag about them insufferably every year anew “oh THESE? Oh, actually, I MADE them”
Expert level: Make your own decorations out of home bake polymer clay and cookie cutters.
I made star of david ornaments this way for our Chrismakkuh. They last for years allowing you to brag about them insufferably every year anew “oh THESE? Oh, actually, I MADE them”
33 years of Christmas tree learnings distilled into 10 tweets.
You’re welcome, my friends.
You’re welcome, my friends.
