now as a gemini, there is something tragically beautiful about being the sign that regulates our conscious/subconscious communication patterns.

i know understand why my compulsive survival mechanism was to adapt to people’s needs because that was the only way i was able to get mine met in an environment that was conditioned by individualism and exploitative relationship dynamics

it took me a long time to actually embrace this gift of seeing through people’s multifaceted and multi-dimensional emotional worlds. i no longer just try to manipulate my reality to only see the good side of people. i am actually able to sit with the more repressed parts

of their personalities and chose to act accordingly. i have always been seen as the friend who can take it all, and this has given people an excuse to project so much of their unresolved trauma on to me because they perceive me as emotionally detached and mentally agile

enough to see where they are coming from. this eclipse really shed light on how i enable people by not being honest about the boundaries that i actually have.

one of my girls told me that she has never really seen my shadow side and that it kind of made her feel like i was always so much more wholesome. the thing is i know my shadow so intimately that i don’t see the need of projecting externally in order for me to see it.

being a gemini comes with a set or challenges but if there is one thing i love is that i know that i am an imperfect being learning the art of self-acceptance. it is actually really humanizing to know that i don’t need to be perfect to deserve to be loved and this is why

my tolerance for other people’s projections can be so high because i know that it has nothing to do with me personally but more to do with people feeling comfortable enough to show me the hidden parts of their personalities.

and mostly understanding how my experience as a Black queer woman exacerbates how people engage with me has been nothing but eye-opening especially given how much being a Gemini is linked to our collective desire to express the full scope of our personalities

One thing is for certain: so many people weaponize Black women’s kindness & turn it into an opportunity for them to be have a “learning” experience. This is exactly why people don’t get why I change on them:

i change on people because when i am in relationships i actually listen to what people tell me about themselves. i actually connect to people’s feedback about themselves and when someone tells me who they are: i actually believe them.

i think there is so much power in becoming completely immersed in the presence of other people. for me, this is the pinnacle of joy and maybe this is why we can talk for hours because we recognize the divine in the most mundane things.