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Let's talk about how young autisic girls go undiagnosed because their special interests are considered too "normal." Spoiler: That's sexism.
I lined up, organized, and collected massive numbers of Barbie dolls. I "played" this way for hours on end. I played with Barbies until the 6th grade, and I was even teased at school for it.
Substitute Barbies with horses, boy bands, makeup, fairies, and books. These are "girls' interests." When young girls become hyperfocused and passionate about these interests, the general public simply rolls their eyes and says, "Girls get obsessed over silly things."
A little boy spends all his days lining up legos and completing lego kits for high schoolers, and adults think, "Why doesn't he go outside and play sports? What's going on here?" A girl lines up dolls or collects 50 horse stuffed animals, adults think, "She's so silly and cute."
Autistic girls that show more "masculine" interests and traits are more likely to receive an ASD diagnosis. Receiving support is directly related to contradictions of perceived notions of masculine/feminine. There's something "wrong" with the tomboy or the less sporty boy.
Neurodiversity underscores the uniqueness and inherent value of all children and adults across lines of difference--gender, ability, perceived intelligence, race, etc. Gendering autistic traits only emboldens stereotypes, promotes masking, and reinforces conditional love.
