While new yorkers praise bodegas, they never mention the fake bodegas to outsiders.

Every new yorker has entered a fake bodega at least once, even when warned not to.

If you're a new yorker, you know. Suddenly, a bodega appears that you'd swear wasn't there yesterday, even though the signs are aged and yellowed.

You walk in, and immediately notice something is off.

The cans are slightly non-cylindrical. The bags of chips feel slightly squishier than they should be. That breakfast sandwich doesn't quite smell like bacon.

Within a minute, that wrongness is more and more obvious.

You open a cooler door for a drink, and the can is too heavy. Whatever liquid in it, sloshes more heavily than it should. It almost feels like clotted milk.

If you somehow overcome that wrongness, and bring it up to the counter, that sense of wrongness intensifies when the clerk turns around.

You get the strong impression he's wearing a latex mask.

You plop your can of what feels like clotted milk on the counter, and the clerk with a latex mask for a face greets you in a voice that doesn't quite use syllables.

You leave, unsettled, with a handful of change that feels somehow oily, and some strong instinct tells you not to open that can.

You toss it in a nearby trashcan, overflowing with unopened cans and chip bags and other food packaging.

It's happened to every new yorker. You warn your friends, they warn you.

"oh no, that's a fake bodega. Go to the one 3 blocks away."

Every new yorker has at some point picked up a bag of chips and felt the unmistakeable sensation that the bag actually contained human teeth.

We've all stopped in, barely noticing the warning signs, just to grab a pack of cigarettes or something.

And then caught ourselves before opening up whatever we'd just bought.

Or, worse, brought it home and noticed it already rotting.

If you've never felt a can of soda squirm in your hands, you've never truly lived in new york.

Fake bodegas are just a part of everyday life in new york. You learn to avoid them, or at least to immediately catch the warning signs and leave without buying anything.