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I'm Laurence Fox's closest friend and can confirm I was at his house yesterday. It was just me, him and my flatmate who Lozza only knows through me. We had some cans and watched Zoolander. I gave him a hug cos he started crying about his divorce and I didn't know what else to do.
We watched Zoolander cos he can no longer afford any streaming services after he spent all his money on that political party thing, so he just watches the same four DVDs over and over. The other three are
American Pie 2, Paddy McGuinness Live and The Matrix: Reloaded.
American Pie 2, Paddy McGuinness Live and The Matrix: Reloaded.
We ate Pot Noodles, the only thing I've ever seen him eat.
Laurence had a Bombay Bad Boy and, as usual, made a big deal about how he doesn't even find them that spicy. But you can tell this is bollocks cos when he eats them he gets all red and sweaty and drinks loads of water.
Laurence had a Bombay Bad Boy and, as usual, made a big deal about how he doesn't even find them that spicy. But you can tell this is bollocks cos when he eats them he gets all red and sweaty and drinks loads of water.
Laurence's house doesn't have any furniture, apart from a novelty inflatable armchair, which my flatmate bagsied. I brought my own foldable camping chair as I've been in Laurence's house before and I know what it's like. Laurence sat on the floor.
Laurence told me in confidence that he's much more upset about that whole Pogues thing than he lets on.
Actually it's not true that he doesn't have ANY furniture. He does have a pool table. He got it second hand off a pub. But the coin slot's jammed and he can't get the balls out. So it's basically just a big, ugly table that fills his kitchen. He's always boasting about it though.
Glad this is getting some retweets. Follow me, Laurence Fox's closest friend, for more Lozza gossip.
Lozza and I met through acting BTW. If you don't believe I'm a successful actor, I did the voice-over in this John Lewis ad. So that settles that. https://twitter.com/ThisIsTomLittle/status/1325777166664159232
Lozza and I met through acting BTW. If you don't believe I'm a successful actor, I did the voice-over in this John Lewis ad. So that settles that. https://twitter.com/ThisIsTomLittle/status/1325777166664159232
Also, my flatmate didn't even want to be there. She only came because she knows I don't like being left alone with him. She left early as she was sick of his awkward flirting, which consisted of him challenging her to an arm wrestle and saying racism isn't real.
I'll never forget how I felt holding Laurence Fox in my arms while he wept like a child. It was so awkward and embarrassing. But still not as awkward or embarrassing as it was 20 minutes earlier when he got his guitar out.
Laurence's new songs are all reggae-influenced. He says he wants to do a reggae album to show 'white people can do it just as well as them.' His favourite reggae artist is Eric Clapton.
I do worry Laurence spends too much time on the internet so I encourage him to pursue his other hobbies. These include designing tattoos by drawing on himself in marker pens, and 'The Englishman's Chess,' which is what Laurence calls Connect Four.
If you ever play Connect Four with Laurence Fox, for God's sake just let him win. I know that might seem patronising, but honestly, it's not worth the sulks.
