After my wife went vegan, I waited for years before I joined her.

I knew I eventually would, but I made all kinds of excuses. None of them were my True Objection.

The real reason is something many vegans pretend not to know, but every non-vegan knows.

If I'm vegan for moral reasons, and you are sitting across from me eating meat, I think you are acting immorally. Even if I don't say anything, the judgement is implicit.

For all the years my wife was vegan while I wasn't, I kept checking with her to make sure it wasn't moral reasons. "It's just that you think meat is gross, right?"

But of course, it bothered her more than she'd admit

There is a barrier you have to put up if you want to interact with non-vegans.

Everyone knows factory farming is evil. But people don't want it pointed out every day at lunch. The real reason I waited so long was because I didn't want to be the one pointing it out to everyone

And it's hard, to actually face the evil in your own mind, and admit that you believe meat is straightforwardly murder, then to try to interact with people who don't see it that way.

I don't bring it up, because I don't want to be "that vegan", but I do wish they'd change too

I mostly cope by reminding myself of all the time I spent resisting. People coming at me angry didn't help. Seeing examples and talking to people about it in a safe space did.

So I try to be the example, and maybe I bring it up in public places occasionally