Thread: the subject of online harassment is pretty interesting to me - because I know I used to be a problem to others back in the day.

It started in the mid-1990s. I was a teenager, and the Web was still in its infancy.

We had two preeminent social media back then: Usenet and IRC.

Both were populated mostly by dudes like me: young, self-absorbed know-it-alls, with a pretty toxic "ackshually" culture masquerading as a meritocracy.

Your mission would be to insert yourself into other people's arguments, zero in on the weakest claim, and triumphantly "destroy" them with your "facts and logic".

There was a certain decorum to the process, but fundamentally, it wasn't different from the worst of Twitter today.

This most commonly happened at the expense of newcomers who asked a misguided question or didn't follow some unwritten rule of the group.

It was a self-reinforcing filter, of sorts: we're going to be awful to you until you either become one of us or go away.

I don't think I was an awful bully, but I sure played along.

I wish I had a touching story of redemption to share today for cheap Internet points, but the reality is that I grew out of this mindset some 20 years for three fairly uninspiring reasons:

First, as I entered my adult life, I started doubting my own judgment more. I could see many of my Usenet idols stick to their old habits - but year after year of the same thing, it just looked lonely and sad.

Secondly, I ended up getting a job and noticed that folks who consider themselves smarter than others are often the least successful and most frustrated people you meet.

And lastly, I gained a bit of "Internet fame" in infosec - and soon had haters of my own: people who would somehow get a kick out of following me online and trying to diminish everything I did.

The funny thing is that I recognized my former self in them, in a way.

There are many communities that remind me of the toxic depths of the Usenet in the 1990s. The "skeptic" movement, the Wikipedia editorial culture, the Linux kernel mailing list, many forums on Reddit or on Facebook.

I wish I had great advice for folks who find themselves on the receiving end of the "ackshually" shtick. Except, don't play along: the person on the other end gets a kick out of *any* engagement. Don't apologize, don't argue, don't vent. Rob them of that precious feedback loop.

There is a pitfall with this strategy: sometimes, the criticisms you hear are valid, just delivered in poor form - and insulating yourself from feedback can do more harm than good.

But as a general rule, it's best to derive intrinsic motivation for self-improvement.

I like to look at my work from one, two, five years ago. Counterintuitively, if it makes me feel a bit embarrassed, that's a good sign: I'm probably getting better at what I do.

I also keep reminding myself not to go too far in tuning out the noise. That person asking a misguided question or doubting your argument could be an irredeemable troll; but it could be just somebody who has a point, or who needs your help to understand.

A good test to see if you're striking the right balance is to ask yourself every now and then if there's anything you were convinced of several years ago, but that you now see in a very different light.

If the answer is no, you're probably erecting too high of a wall.

That's all, I guess?