Not heard back from Peloton so I am now available for alternative offers.

In the meantime, thought some of you *might* be interested in a progress report.

The following thread might also be of interest to anyone in the forties or older, who wants to lose some weight. https://twitter.com/TheSimonEvans/status/1301485852183474177

This is me today, in the trousers that were a comfortable fit when that first picture was taken, about ten weeks ago.

What's more as you can see here, most of that progress was made in the first month.

I don't kid myself I am going to be on the front cover of Men's Health any time soon, but I am a good deal closer to my own self image than I was twelve weeks ago. Since mid August, I've lost about 12 kgs, or two stone.

I mention this partly because, thanks to Lockdown, I have been unable to start frequenting my local muscle bars in a fetching singlet, and I need some other forum to display my goods, obviously. But also, because a lot of money is made out of people's anxiety about weight...

... and I can't help thinking it's a bit of a con. I think, if anyone fancies trying it, I can summarise the entire programme in half a dozen tweets.

1. Eliminate carbohydrates. Entirely.
If you can't quite manage that in a single bound, then at least, anything made from wheat. Bread, pasta, pastry and biscuits and cakes obvs. Keep turnips if you must.

And NOTHING that contains both carbs and fat. NOTHING.

2. Once you have adapted to that - and you may be grumpy for a few days, any more than a week and you are playing it - you will notice that you no longer experience sudden hunger pangs, or snackishness. You can now begin to narrow your "eating window".

3. Work towards a 16:8 "intermittent fasting" regime. I am not sure that 16 hours without food really is fasting but it is enough to rebalance your insulin and that is key. Feel free to do the reading elsewhere, or just trust me. It works.

I eat, midday to eight. Every day.

4. Once you get the hang of that, and (for me) are re-assured that you can in fact get a good night's sleep without a belly full of hot buttered toast, you can experiment with going longer without food. 24 hours turns out to be surprisingly manageable, and satisfying.

5. Drink as much black coffee as you like in the morning. To mask the taste, I chew gum. And drink loads of water, obvs. I recommend eating red meat (steak or burgers), chicken, fish, eggs and cheese. That's all you need. Greens if you want. No fruit.

6. And finally, an exercise regime. Find something you can do as HIIT. (Look it up). Circuit training etc. Twice a week. And once a week, lift until your muscles shake. Squat, deadlift, shoulder press, press ups, and pull ups. Maybe buy two heavy kettlebells. Or isometrics.

I don't think there is anything else you need. But as a bonus, I will add that treating yourself to bluetooth scales is motivating, keeps you on track. (h/t @stephencgrant). c. £30 from Amazon.

Do that between now and Christmas day and I reckon you'll have a body that will be the envy of the hypothetical guests to your table, and a day of guilt free indulgence.

And more seriously, vastly elevated and more sustained energy levels and lowered self-loathing and despair.

God knows how much money I have saved you all. Even the estimable and admirably science-based Michael Mosley has managed to publish about half a dozen books on the "blood sugar diet" which I have just summarised in six tweets. Five in fact. And no patent shakes!

The key I am afraid is not to "keep it interesting". Avoid recipe books. They involve developing demanding new habits which is tiring and throws you off. For the next two months, treat food the way your car treats fuel. I eat standing up half the time. I have no interest in it.

recipes are filler for publishing houses to justify charging £8.99 or more for what I have summarised above. By all means read up on the science if you want - it's all on line, all free of charge. @tednaiman is worth a follow, and @Mangan150. But it's easier to just do it.

I only wish I had known how exhausting carbs are, as well as fattening, forty years ago. I could have been someone!

Anyway, I shall attempt to answer any questions and engage good-naturedly with any teasing but if you feel you have had any value out of this thread and my previous 15ok tweets or whatever, do consider signing up to my patreon! https://twitter.com/TheSimonEvans/status/1241367650170744832?s=20

Now Go Fast!