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Barack Hussein Obama looked to the blue sky, where his enemy, God, resides, and smiled. He clasped his bony fingers together and smiled Blackingly. He had won again, despite all the odds arrayed against him. Evil had triumphed.
Michelle Obama draped her bare arms around Obama's shoulder and flexed her muscles in the African-American style.
The three-dimensional globe of the world projected in the Obama inner sanctum 10 miles below DC spun in front of the couple.
"Victory," she hissed in his ear.
The three-dimensional globe of the world projected in the Obama inner sanctum 10 miles below DC spun in front of the couple.
"Victory," she hissed in his ear.
In the corner of the cavernous headquarters sat an array of machines, manned by a group of shackled white men. Right now, the devices were silent. But just days ago there had been a frenzy.
Millions of ballots had been printed, just as Obama commanded.
Millions of ballots had been printed, just as Obama commanded.
Election night had generated worry. For a second it seemed that Obama's conspiracy might not work. But then when he had his agents present the incriminating dossiers to the media, along with the ballot printing, Biden had won.
"As the demons foretold," Obama whispered.
"As the demons foretold," Obama whispered.
Joe Biden patted his chest pocket. There were his Debate Real Good pills. He always had them on his person now. They were his lucky charm. Without them, he knew he couldn't debate his way out of a wet paper bag. But the pills, produced by ObamaLabs, had turned him into Cicero.
Biden admired his reflection in the mirror. He was wearing his Che Guevara hat and chuckled quietly to himself. All these years of Communist cosplay. The real reason he had ridden Amtrak home all those years from the Senate. He only had to keep up the ruse for a few more days.
He playfully punched Jill Biden on the shoulder and she returned the favor.
"Full communism, my love," she said.
"Full communism, Jilly."
They both wept as the anthem of the Comintern played in the background.
"Full communism, my love," she said.
"Full communism, Jilly."
They both wept as the anthem of the Comintern played in the background.
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez couldn't stop looking at the map.
America, divided into sectors of varying colors. Windmills stuffed into the midwest. Destruction of skyscrapers in the northeast.
Florida, with tiny windows from Jacksonville to Miami.
It was all going to happen now.
America, divided into sectors of varying colors. Windmills stuffed into the midwest. Destruction of skyscrapers in the northeast.
Florida, with tiny windows from Jacksonville to Miami.
It was all going to happen now.
Biden punched in the secret code, William Ayers birthday, into the computer pad at the doorway. The room, as usual, was filled with the sound of Obama's 2004 convention speech, which all operatives now knew by heart.
Obama sat on his golden Obamathrone, watching an array of news feeds and surveillance cameras constantly beamed into him by the other members of the new world order.
As was customary, Michelle was torturing the white men, lashing out at them for not printing ballots faster.
As was customary, Michelle was torturing the white men, lashing out at them for not printing ballots faster.
Biden made his way to the foot of the throne and fell to one knee.
"What is they bidding, master?"
An evil grin slid across Obama's lips.
"We have so much to do."
"What is they bidding, master?"
An evil grin slid across Obama's lips.
"We have so much to do."
Donald Trump lurched out of bed, covered in sweat. He reached for a towel and wiped it across his brow. Orange flecks scraped off. As usual, Melania was three rooms away, barricaded in.
Was it all a dream? A nightmare?
Rudy Giuliani entered, wearing a Victorian nightgown.
Was it all a dream? A nightmare?
Rudy Giuliani entered, wearing a Victorian nightgown.
"Some tea, sir?" Giuliani lisped.
Trump nodded yes, his wet hair exposing the bald patches underneath his surgically reconstructed hair.
"I have new strategies for revealing how you won, sir," Giuliani said his eyes getting wide as saucers.
Trump weakly smiled. He was in hell.
Trump nodded yes, his wet hair exposing the bald patches underneath his surgically reconstructed hair.
"I have new strategies for revealing how you won, sir," Giuliani said his eyes getting wide as saucers.
Trump weakly smiled. He was in hell.
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