Idk if it's just me, but tech twitter has been increasingly overwhelming.

"Learn this library, try this framework, KEEP CODING OR ELSE YOU'RE NOT DOING IT RIGHT"

Doom scrolling and reading these tweets has demotivated me so hard that I'm in this "coding purgatory"

Thread 1/?

I'm never sure of what I really need to focus on to improve as a dev because everyone has their OWN opinion. I've been told 20 different suggestions from 20 different successful devs. Can anyone see why that's confusing to a beginner?

This is why I wish I had solid mentorship to help me FOCUS..

Now on Twitter, these motivational tweets, all these wins (big or small), are little nudges of hope and encouragement for some. In an effort to be helpful, sometimes they're a lot more harmful, unfortunately.

Since ending bootcamp, I was looking forward to learning and growing. I had a role at a company where I didn't code and so as a newbie I went two months, zero coding, and I'm continuing to suffer the consequences of that by being stuck in the "what should I do next" territory.

Do I jump back to grasping JS concepts? Do I throw myself into React? Most of my cohortmates and the cohorts after mine are way past that, so, why can't I get past this? As I type, I remind myself that everyone learns at different levels, but I can't help but compare myself.

If it were up to me, I would have had an internship/jr role at a company with structure, where I'd get mentored. That's how I roll. I like having structure and sticking to it.

What did I get? A ton of competition during a pandemic for a junior role, and feeling isolated.

Now I know this is a very personal vent, and you're not used to me venting like this, but this is honestly me. I've been bottling this up for MONTHS. I just want to know if anyone else relates or has had a similar experience to me.

Also, PLEASE don't jump to giving me advice. The whole point is the advice and constant opposing opinions have been confusing. But thank you. I just want to know I'm not alone in feeling like this, and if you're feeling this way, *sigh* oh do I ever understand.

LAST THING - I know I share my wins here too. I'm not saying never share them. Everyone SHOULD share their wins, but in my current mental state, it's hard to see. I'm happy for people, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel a sense of panic because "maybe I'm not doing enough".

Actually one more:

NUMBER OF FOLLOWERS IS != AMAZING DEVELOPER.

I cannot tell you the amount of times people called me "amazing dev" which has added this whopping amount of pressure.

I'm just a beginner, figuring this out like most bootcamp grads are. I'm a normal ass person.