Had a conversation with a lovely trans woman who expressed her discomfort with how uncomfortable she is with people who are openly transphobic/hateful towards trans men and what some of her issues were
1. treating trans men terribly for "choosing the wrong side" shows they see being trans as a choice, so they see trans women as good for giving up "male privledge/being an oppressor to join the good side" when that's not how any of that works
2. being openly and proudly misandrist does not feel supportive. It makes your support conditional on her gender being "feminine enough", (which pressures questioning trans people). These folks would have been just as vile to her if she wasn't openly a woman.
3. several trans women do not feel comfortable in the LGBT community, because several people are loud about their internalized transphobia and project it onto others in various ways.
She is just one of the many women who have discussed this matter with me privately, and is scared of being attacked for presenting these opinions (why I'm leaving her anonymous). In fact, lets bring up what I've seen people do to trans ladies who speak up for trans men.
Misogyny. Saying that trans women that ask for the better treatment of their trans brothers are doing it for male attention/because a guy told them to and not because they are capable individuals who desire to be intersectional is misogynistic.
Transphobia! Sometimes a trans woman's womanhood is questioned for speaking up for the behalf of trans men, as if womanhood is measured based on how vile you are to men.
Peer pressure! When everyone you see in your circle is talking poorly about trans men, chances are they respond poorly to you showing support for them. This had led to trans women being kicked out of (usually online) friend or support groups and harassed.
Seeing all this, she (as well as other trans women) are absolutely terrified of getting involved or speaking up. She wondered "If I speak up, will they treat me as badly as they do you?" and the one time she got the courage to the answer was yes.
Hating trans men was never about "protecting trans women"
If it was, none of this would be as common as it is.
If it was, none of this would be as common as it is.