""23 things I didn't learn in college / grad school":

#13:Get a mentor. Be a mentor.

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There are many models of mentors:

the mentor who walked in your shoes not long ago;

the mentor who'll share with you their mistakes so you can make new ones;

the mentor who'll listen to you and ask questions that you don't need to give them the answers to.

They're all good.

Mentors aren't meant to solve your problems.

A good mentor will help you identify your options.

A great mentor will help you identify your goals and frame them to optimize your potential.

Remember: 'help' is the operative word here.

The hardest thing about mentoring is to accept that your mental picture of the goals, preferences, and experiences of the mentee might not be accurate.

Consequently, a mentor should not give "advice" to the mentee; and a mentor should never project their biases to their mentees.

The hardest thing about getting a mentor is acknowledging the value of getting one.

The next hardest thing is not to let the search for a perfect mentor stop you from finding good ones.

If you can't find one great mentor, find three good ones -- individuals who are not cynical or judgmental but are willing to be open about what worked and what didn't work for them in the organization / field / at a similar stage in their career.

Always ask your mentor how to think about a situation, not what to do.

This slight change in the framing will help your mentor list your options / the criteria you could consider, and pull them away from telling you what they would do in your situation.

In the five stages of my post-undergraduate career, each between four and seven years, I've never sought a mentor.

Always too sure of myself. And almost always wrong, occasionally lucky.

With hindsight, I feel that a good mentor would've helped me avoid nearly every career mistake I made.

But then, if I didn't make those mistakes, I wouldn't be writing this thread, so maybe there's a silver lining after all