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Pride and love do not mix.
One day pride might cost me my marriage.
My wife would call me out as a liar if I delivered this any other way, so there is no advice here; only testimony.
I can go days without speaking to my wife...
1/14
One day pride might cost me my marriage.
My wife would call me out as a liar if I delivered this any other way, so there is no advice here; only testimony.
I can go days without speaking to my wife...
1/14
I have mastered the art of the silent treatment.
An empty hello in the morning followed by a few nods and grunts when required. Before we started living together, I once stopped speaking to her four days straight; complete radio silence. No calls, messages or even social media.
An empty hello in the morning followed by a few nods and grunts when required. Before we started living together, I once stopped speaking to her four days straight; complete radio silence. No calls, messages or even social media.
It was so bad that my older sister intervened.
That is how I resolved conflict at the start of our relationship; silence—followed by days laying in bed finding reasons to stay angry so that I did not “give in”.
3/14
That is how I resolved conflict at the start of our relationship; silence—followed by days laying in bed finding reasons to stay angry so that I did not “give in”.
3/14
I have almost lost everything; the love of my life and my family because of my relationship with a five letter word: sorry.
Bro, it’s not that deep. It’s just a word.
Please shut up. You have no idea what you are talking about.
4/14
Bro, it’s not that deep. It’s just a word.
Please shut up. You have no idea what you are talking about.
4/14
In a relationship, sorry is not just a word. It can not be just a word.
Sorry is just a word when you bump into someone by accident or you unintentionally offend a colleague at work.
In a relationship, sorry is a declaration; not only to apologise but to forgive.
5/14
Sorry is just a word when you bump into someone by accident or you unintentionally offend a colleague at work.
In a relationship, sorry is a declaration; not only to apologise but to forgive.
5/14
In a relationship sorry must mean regardless of all that shit we just said, when the sun rises, we have to wipe the slate clean.
Completely clean like new beginnings, fresh start — Men In Black flash device.
6/14
Completely clean like new beginnings, fresh start — Men In Black flash device.
6/14
In a marriage, sorry without forgiveness is like OITNB without Poussey — it doesn’t survive the next few seasons.
Sometimes, we say sorry for peace of mind and brush issues under the carpet, but dust accumulates.
7/14
Sometimes, we say sorry for peace of mind and brush issues under the carpet, but dust accumulates.
7/14
Without forgiveness, issues cling on the heels of your relationship and grow into anchors preventing it from growing past that point.
Many people's relationships are sinking, and they don’t even realise it.
8/14
Many people's relationships are sinking, and they don’t even realise it.
8/14
In a marriage, you don’t learn how to forgive, you must understand why to forgive.
I have learned that I can not blame my wife for actions she has already proven she did not mean. I can’t punish her for mistakes that she has already repented for many times over.
9/14
I have learned that I can not blame my wife for actions she has already proven she did not mean. I can’t punish her for mistakes that she has already repented for many times over.
9/14
It distracts from our mission to argue over principle rather than purpose.
At the same time, forgiveness is exhausting.
It requires you to deconstruct all your barriers, lay them to one side for your partner, then re-build them before you leave to face the world.
At the same time, forgiveness is exhausting.
It requires you to deconstruct all your barriers, lay them to one side for your partner, then re-build them before you leave to face the world.
Forgiveness should be healing, but for me it requires too much heavy lifting. Hearts hardened by trauma and emotional insecurity like mine can let love out, but they find it harder to let love in.
11/14
11/14
So sometimes you protect your heart for so long that you forget how to take off the armour. You forget that vulnerability is an act of courage, not weakness.
It’s embarrassing that 13 years later I still struggle to get it right, but unlearning is so much harder than re-learning
It’s embarrassing that 13 years later I still struggle to get it right, but unlearning is so much harder than re-learning
Do not make the same mistakes
me — learn to forgive. In a relationship, forgiveness is a joint venture —50/50 partnership — both parties contributing equally.
me — learn to forgive. In a relationship, forgiveness is a joint venture —50/50 partnership — both parties contributing equally.
Expecting everyone to forgive and forget does not work.
Forgive and discuss, forgive and resolve. In a relationship, apologies shouldn’t be offered; they should be understood.
Forgive and discuss, forgive and resolve. In a relationship, apologies shouldn’t be offered; they should be understood.
