Good morning. Buenos días. Today is Friday, November 27th in the year 2020 where I live.

We were fortunate to have access to the BEST help + one of the things I learned early is grief isn’t linear. It’s not like a wound on skin that gets better with time for me.

It is unique. And changes whenever there is a new element. There is actually little guarantee that year 5 will be “better” than year 1 except we have more skills + experience. We can be better prepared. But grief is not asbestos. There is no abatement for it. Oh, people will try.

If my interest was to be a rich lady, I would have written the grief abatement book. Because people ask “how do you do it”. I do it by accepting grief is a part of me. This was my 8th thanksgiving w/o Ana. It was my 1st one in a house she didn’t live + 1st one in a pandemic.

I didn’t know what to expect but left myself open so when that wave hit I was ready.

It was *really* bad. And we have to untie that from lack of “strength” or “faith”. We have both in spades.

It just hurt, this 8th thanksgiving, in a special way. And that is ok. We persist.

I write this here so that you know if you’re struggling?

You’re ok.

It’s not a sign of deficiency. It’s a sign that what happened to you is just a terribly awful thing.

And I am just so very sorry you are forced to carry this extra thing. May we find bits of light today.