Thread by @CaitlinPacific, My Twitter Suspension:A True Story So I log onto Twitter for the [...]

My Twitter Suspension:

A True Story

So I log onto Twitter for the kabillionth time that day, chasing the dragon, but instead of a maintenance dose of smack, my screen fills up with two dense paragraphs of text. I've been suspended!

There has to be some kind of mistake, Officer.

I mean if the Ayatollah Khomeni can tweet about "filthy zionists" - and the tweet is STILL THERE, surely pearl-clutching Caitlin Flanagan can't be in trouble.

But I'm suspended, all right. The offending tweet is copied in the middle of the text, and includes a figure of speech which is very common, and is in no way violent.

It certainly doesn't rise to the level of the A.T's Tweet - but what the Hell could?

Unless you think the Peanuts cartoons are violent, because this figure of speech is used frequently in those cartoons

I would repeat it here, but I don't want to get suspended again.

And I can't risk getting suspended forever because -

- what am I going to do, jump onto the Methadone of Parler?

I'm here for the junk, the horse, the dope

Anyway, Twitter has decided that my Tweet suggests that I am contemplating s*icide. To be reinstated, I must remove the offending Tweet by clicking a red button

And then endure a nine hour suspension

After which I would be free to Tweet again- su*cidal, but Tweeting.

So, for using a phrase from a Peanuts cartoon I would have to experience 9 more hours of punishment than the Ayatollah Khoumeni.

That's the platform we're using, friends.

But we're stuck! We're addicts!

While Twitter may not care about the horror suggested by the A.K. is cares about me, Caitlin Flanagan: "When we receive a report that a person is considering self-harm, we may take a number of steps to assist them, such as reaching out to that person and -

providing contact numbers for our mental health partners"

Twitter has mental health partners?

Have they contacted the millions of people who saw AT's Tweet and given them the phone numbers?

I immediately contact one of the mental health partners to tell them that I am considering S**cide because I've been blocked from Twitter

But it turns out Twitter's mental health partners aren't as easily contacted as the message suggested, leading me to believe the mental health partners might have more to do with indemnifying Twitter against lawsuits than helping out unstable Tweeters

Has the A.K. been given the mental health parters' contact information? In the movie version, the A.K. would sit on hold for half an hour and then hang up in frustration and decide to Tweet something vomitous instead (Hurt people hurt people)

Anyway, Twitter offers me a plea bargain: If I remove the Tweet, and let them put "this Tweet removed because it violated Twitter policy" in its place, we can forget this ever happened

Part of my brain assumed the role of every DA I've ever seen on a cop show and starts saying "Take the plea!"

But I'm an innocent woman!

Not perfect, I will grant you, but no A.K.

I chose the harder road: the Appeal (even its name offends: suggesting as it does that I have already been found guilty and am not hoping to change the mind of the court)

Unlike the plea deal, whereby I would simply have to hit the big red button (Remove), the Appeal process is less flashy and more difficult to figure out

In a tiny space (which does appear to become larger the more one types), I consider writing, "My mistake. I had meant to write "filthy zionist," but accidentally used a term from the cheerful cartoon, Peanuts."

But I know not to mock the system when I am in the maw system. I wrote that the concerning phrase was a figure of speech and that I was not in danger of self harm. They said I'd hear back in 7-12 days

I cracked in 3.

And I hate myself for it.

Although I should really hate myself for having any truck at all with a platform that would allow the Ayatollah Khomeini to use it to spread his despicable rhetoric

But as with so much of modern life, it's the sort of thing that you take a disgusted moment to contemplate and then shrug your shoulders and keep doing the easy thing

Such as allowing this platform - which means us no good at all and which is a danger to the world - to keep us in the grip of an addiction that it intentionally afflicted us with

Whenever anyone has the power to censor your speech they have the power to do anything at all to you

Which sounds like hyperbole, but look at the state of the country and imagine how much better we'd be without social media

Thank you to people - well person - for pointing out that the Ayatollah Khameini is long dead (he's really, most sincerely dead) but for whatever reason On Twitter the account is Khameini.

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