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I wanted to share a story to mark #16Days 
This is a true story about a woman called Julie and the times I met her. I've changed the names in this story but everything else is 100% true. The first time I met Julie was when her long term boyfriend Mark had slapped her.
This is a true story about a woman called Julie and the times I met her. I've changed the names in this story but everything else is 100% true. The first time I met Julie was when her long term boyfriend Mark had slapped her.
We arrested Mark, but Julie was too drunk to give us a decent statement. This wasn't particularly surprising as Julie was an alcoholic. She told me she'd sufferred abuse as a kid once and like so much of this stuff it tends to be cyclic in nature. Harm begets harm begets harm...
After a night of Mark in the cells Julie decided to withdraw her allegation. This was pre-body worn video. Nowadays we would use the video of her original account and charge him anyway. So he got released and went straight back round. This scene repeated itself for about 2 years.
I'll be honest, Julie was hard work as a victim. She was often abusive to us, and there were times when I wonder if we did all we could. It is hard to look after someone who is being awful to you. You try but, being honest, sometimes it is really hard.
Still, after a few calls Julie opened up a bit and I grew to get along with her. Her life was hard, she wasn't what most people would think of as a good person, but she wasn't an awful person either. She was just a flawed human being, like most of us. I know what demons can do.
Mark was, to be blunt, a piece of shit. Anyone who dealt with him was aware of this. I had two conversations with Julie where I told her his history of violence and said in no uncertain terms that I thought he would kill her. Every chance we got to lock him up we did.
We followed every guideline. Did every risk assessment. Forwarded her details to the DV support agency. CSU requested a DVPO. I don't understand why she stayed, but I guess people get institutionalised. They just can't escape once someone hooks into them like he had done.
The last time I saw Julie was when a neighbour called to say she was being attacked. When me and my operator arrived she was screaming from inside that he had locked her in and was killing her. When we managed to kick the door in Mark came at us with an electric drill.
We disarmed him, took him to the floor and managed to keep fighting him until another unit arrived and we got him nicked. This time the offences were against us and he got 4 years. I guess that time worked because I never took another call to Julie's address.
About 3 years after that night I overheard a unit at changeover talking about a crime scene. I recognised the address straight away and my heart sunk. Julie was found dead in her flat. She had been found by Mark. There were discrepancies and he had been nicked for murder.
File went to CPS and they declined charges. I don't blame them, if I'm honest there was never enough to prove he did it. My honest belief is that he didn't physically do it but he sure as shit was responsible. You can't torture someone emotionally and physically for that long...
And not be responsible when they decide they can't take it anymore. Turns out the first thing he had done on getting out was to make contact and get back with her, the second thing he did was kill her cat. She loved that cat. The night we smashed the door in she was holding it.
Maybe that's what did it. The last straw. Who knows, I certainly don't. I've gone back over our actions, and I can't find what else I could have done but I will forever feel like we let her down.
People like Mark walk among us. They live next door to us. I wonder what he is like at work, at the pub. Do people know. I wonder a lot of things about that job, but mostly I wonder why we are having only 16 days to cover a plague that takes this lives of 5 women a week.
2 murders and 3 suicides a week caused by DV. That should be national news and it isn't. Why are we not talking about male violence to women more? It is a pandemic and one that no masks or vaccines are going to stop. We need long term, well funded action and we need it now.
250 women a year! A god dammed year! We must do something and I can tell you from my own grim experiences we can't arrest our way out of this one.
Please follow
@CountDeadWomen
Donate to any DV charity you feel appropriate
And please, get louder on this.
Please follow
@CountDeadWomen
Donate to any DV charity you feel appropriate
And please, get louder on this.
