Back in the summer, we still didn't know what kind of tech we were going to have for delivering online lessons and we still didn't know what the balance of online or face to face would be. Nonetheless, prep had to be done, so I designed the most flexible lessons I could.

At the same time I was rewriting everything I taught because we switched from 12 week terms to six week blocks over the summer. I created new reading lists that were entirely digital and verified I wasn't losing the diverse voices I try to feature with the slimmed down lists.

Lessons had to be combined and condensed, but I still wanted them to be meaningful with connections between content and a coherent narrative about what the module was about for my students to critically engage with.

Students would be overwhelmed, blocks moved faster, digital had a learning curve so it was a fine balancing act. It was further complicated because I had to plan before I knew what the teaching scenario would be.

I planned everything out in carefully colour-coded and detailed notes about what key questions we'd engage with, and what kinds of activities I wanted to try to work out how to do in whatever environment we were in.

Later in the summer we got break downs of how contact would work. I shifted things around. Then in September we got access to the tech, so I altered things again to take full advantage of the tech. Then in late September we hit the classroom and parts of the tech didn't work.

There wasn't enough capacity for all students to use digital whiteboards, the pairing the we were told would work in a socially distanced classroom made the classroom too loud (students complained it was too loud). Some students didn't have tech to rely on.

The apparently agile and flexible shifts between face to face and online when students had to self isolate happened at the last minute, often in the early morning hours the day of teaching so all lessons and materials had to be prepped for either environment.

Then we got feedback from our first block and one thing in particular stood out: all that research that says teaching online and blended means you need to spread things out more, not condense them was right (n.b. it wasn't the people on the ground who decided to ignore this...)

I altered all of my plans again to simplify them even more. I found and learned how to use alternative tech. It wasn't as fancy but it was more reliable. Last week I set up an activity that worked within all of these constraints based on those heavily revised colour-coded plans.

I created five iterations of the activity for five groups. I set up the tasks for this week and the tasks for week after next as this activity has some continuity. I coordinated with my colleague also teaching this lesson, double checked everything.

I thought Monday teaching was prepped. Monday morning the tech goes down. I was supposed to be marking. I drop the marking and find an alternative lesson (with great suggestions from colleagues who alerted me in the first place) & re-designed the lesson on my phone on the train.

I think the connections for two weeks' time will also work. I came home after teaching and tried to catch up on the marking. I was already behind due to illness. I got up early today to try to finish catching up but forgot it was our weekly VLE update. I'm still behind on marking

But in terms of workload, this one lesson for 4 in person groups and 1 online group has already clocked up well over three times what I'm allocated in prep time. I'd like to say this was a one off, but my lack of tweeting this term is a reflection of the fact that it isn't.

Almost everything I've taught has been through a similar process. There has also been an adjustment in how I interact with students. In face to face sessions I spend a lot of time telling students where to sit, reminding them to wear their mask properly and focusing on safety.

Some students are very conscientious. Some students have come to me with worries. Other students think all of this is nonsense. It doesn't really matter, I have a legal responsibility to ensure H&S procedures are followed no matter what I think of them.

And for the record, I spent a lot of energy trying to fight for research-backed and effective procedures, but that ongoing battle is for another thread.

My heart sinks every time I have to remind a student to pull their mask over their nose. It sinks even more when I see six of them pile into a lift that is marked single occupancy. I worry about them. Some of them aren't worried, and would dismiss that.

Some are worried but only express that to me privately. Some students are living in single rooms and this may be their only social interaction. Some have lost jobs, some are still working. They're stressed too, so I try not to be too hard on them.

But I also worry about the cleaner who I see every Monday. She wears a mask and a visor at all times and gives me a very wide berth. I can tell she is anxious. She deserves to have precautions respected. I worry about the community we live in, and yes I worry about my own safety.

Online I spend a lot of time repeating instructions, finding links, panicking when I pull students back from breakout rooms & my work issued laptop that can barely cope with Teams crashes (every single time!) and worrying that what I'm saying to a sea of black doesn't make sense.

My volume of emails is unreal. One day I left my inbox empty, made a cup of tea and came back to 34 emails. I was not gathering the wood to boil the kettle. All electric!

Now, you might say yes, well it is an unprecedented global pandemic! Everyone is feeling the pressure! And indeed, that is true.

It is also true that greater knowledge of how Higher Ed works, effective policy and different priorities on the part of those making decisions could mitigate far more of this.

So forgive me if I await announcements about January with horror and I lose my shit the next time I hear 'lazy lecturers' and if I don't volunteer for extras. I'm a little busy and a little tired but most of all I'm frustrated at how much of this could have been better managed.