Read on Twitter
One of the many ways bullies operate is to absolutely appear to be reasonable, very friendly - and even victimised - to every one else they are not bullying. This is a classic tactic. By convincing everyone else of that, they can further alienate and harm almost openly...
Bullies have to operate like this in order to avoid the thing they fear the most, that their ugliness with be outed. The nicer they are to everyone else, the more they can wield power over others - and sometimes gain support for it. They weaponise niceness very specifically.
Being bullied is life threatening. No matter your age. No matter if bullying is in the home, at work or within your friend circles. The thing is that the legacy of bullying is made worse by all those people who even after it’s revealed, continue to believe in their ‘niceness’.
I’ve been bullied during production processes. I considered giving up writing during one. I considered legal action during another. Both times had to seek help with MH. And those people have heightened their ‘niceness’ during and immediately after to ensure people did not see it.
I have not been able to speak on this because even having been through therapy, I have it triggering. Last year, a so-called friend started an attempt to bully me, would you believe over health issues I had! When I decided to speak on it openly, his campaign of ‘niceness’ erupted
Suddenly everyone one of our friends was invited to social events at his almost, all with purpose of alienating me. And it kind of worked. And all I heard from my other friends, in full knowledge of how he had been behaving towards me, was how nice a guy he was and could be...
This thread is hard because bullies rarely admit to being bullies. And victims of bullying even when they speak out are faced with a wall of ‘enablers’ taken in by the bullies niceness. And this is where bullying and racism make happy bedfellows...
Someone can be the nicest person to you and still be enacting mental, emotional or physical violence to another person. They can be encouraging to you whilst trying to literally kill the spirit of another person. They can be your best mate, and still be the worst person to others
Bullies cannot exist without a network of people that turn a blind eye, or can’t get over their ‘niceness’. And the sooner we stop using these lame excuses for why bullying cannot exist in a situation, the sooner we start saving lives lost every year by bullying. That’s the tweet
Look at for a person that uses any type of ‘niceness’, or something happening in their life as a reason to treat others badly. In my big Aunty years, the one thing I know is no tragedy, MH struggles, or hardship automatically makes you an arsehole or bully. There is a choice.
