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now that we’re all talking abt how everything is falling apart for Caleb and he’s being very unkempt with his frustration and difficulty dealing w, admittedly, a lot of issues at once (CA, blumendrei, Lucien, and now Essek, who was lower on his priority list) (cont.) #crspoilers
I think abt how much Caleb needs to be in control of a situation— he makes bold quick decisions to stay ahead of who he’s unbalancing (beacon, fire). How much of his motivation is control, from his time brainwashed and memory-less, without it: “I want to bend reality to my will.”
He has made a decision to fix his home, but as soon as he made intentional strides towards that— dinner with trent, reaching out to A&E, escorting DeRogna— everything fell apart. Eisselcross was his idea and now they don’t know why they’re there, except for Lucien
And Lucien! A fiend wearing a friends face, a memory of calebs failure and of those early days of just beginning to trust again — now catastrophizing and n these nine eyes no one seems to know anything about (knowledge is power, power is control, and they don’t know shit abt him)
Of course Caleb buried the hurt he felt from esseks betrayal so deep — opened up to Molly, he’s back and vicious, tried to get A&E a way out, and now he’s competing w his love for a legacy he doesn’t want. Essek was the first hope that hey, maybe wizards can be different— but no
Within all this, although Caleb led the M9 to Eisselcross, theyre there for Lucien, for their own curiosity on something no one knows anything abt, not even the gods. Cad asked: why are we here? What are we doing? With all this ambiguity in calebs head, at least he spoke “peace.”
Interestingly enough, the only person rock-solid, and I would say thriving rn, is Beau. She sees through the greyscale beyond personal attachments and w concrete knowledge of what’s known and not. She makes a plan for Lucien, plots their path. Ioun’s symbol is the eye, isn’t it?
I took too long to say: Caleb told Essek, tough shit, we weren’t part of the plan but we’re here now, deal with your emotions, stay alive, we’ve got more work to do. Someone, possibly Beau, who sees through his bullshit so clearly, needs to give the same hammer to Caleb.
Alternatively: Caleb needs to lose his need for control, trust those currently not in his orbit again, and embrace the chaos.
(PS: he’s still a dick to Beau and I’m glad he got called out on it. She’s the only one who’s getting it rn, and a more decent response would’ve been, as fjord reiterated, to let her finish.)
