I don't ask for a lot here but I'm going to ask for this.

Jr. folks - We love you, we are trying, we are also drowning.

It is admissions season. I'm just going to let you know - You might not get some replies. I know of situations where folks have gotten some real aggressive or angry emails from prospective students due to non-responsiveness.

Y'all. We are doing our best.

This would be a great time to approach each other with kindness and grace.

Like always - sure, some folks are assholes. But a lot of folks are struggling. And we all have a lot of commitments. And plenty of the people we are responsible to and for are struggling too.

The pandemic sucks. It sucks extra if you're at a career transition point - we are all doing everything we can to keep the lights on and stop it from being totally garbage. We know - the last 9 months are not what anyone imagined or hoped for.

And I'm going to be frank - As I see more women move into faculty, I see more students make demands of faculty, esp. female faculty, that are completely unreasonable.

I talk to my male colleagues and I can tell you - it is different.

Yeah, shocker, the gender politics of our systems happen in academia. And truly - what an opportunity for us to revisit ways we function and upgrade them to better.

But also, examine your expectations from the folks you interact with, and the response you have when those aren't met.

The more minoritized someone is, the worse this tends to be. That doesn't mean don't reach out - it just means have a place in your heart to be understanding if we can't meet those needs.

And I obviously can not speak to what it is like to be first gen, or to be a BIPOC faculty member. But I will tell you - from the folks I talk to, the answer is - this + extra.

Again - there are a lot of expectations, and many of us are deeply committed to building stairs behind us.

And a lot of folks are barely keeping on their own oxygen masks, so to speak.

I'd also just like to note - all generalizations are generalizations. I talked to a male colleague recently who is doing all the caretaking for his family and touch and go barely describes it.

and if anyone reading this drowning - HI I LOVE YOU WE ARE GONNA MAKE IT.

I suck at my job right now. I try to give my kids what they need. I'm writing up a COVID-19 section of my tenure packet. I try not to cry about it too much or yell at my family too much.

TRY being the operative word here.

Related: I just said the words "THE SEA MONKEYS CAN WAIT" so that's how Friday is going.