If I could let my 15-year-old self travel to any day in her future, it would be today.

A rant thread because I have Feelings.

15yo me is at the height of her Superwholock obsession. Long brown hair, fandom merch, braces. Picks her acne and feels bad about it constantly. Convinced she is straight, feeling guilty for loving all the gay content on the internet so much, like she's appropriating something.

Fights with her brother, dependent on her parents, barely knows how to make pasta. Has just discovered eyeliner. Reads Destiel and Johnlock fanfic in the middle of the night, thinks bow ties are cool, has just seen Les Mis in the cinema, three seasons deep in GoT.

Fast forward to today.

I'm convinced if 15yo me met 23yo me, she would faint a little bit. Short dyed hair, a tattoo, vintage men's shirts and huge earrings. The exact sharp eyeliner 15yo me could never get right. A flat shared with friends, full of plants and vintage furniture.

While cooking us both some fancy vegan lunch, 23yo me casually tells 15yo me about the homophobic unrequited canon Destiel, the train wreck that is Sherlock season 4, and how GoT and HIMYM ended. Oh, also gay marriage is legal in Germany and the US. Also, we're both gay and ace.

Also, turns out our skin picking is a mental illness and not actually our fault. Also, we've got an internship at the Ber/linale lined up soon. Do you want some coffee with that open mouth there, love?

The point is: My life now is far from perfect. I worry so much, I always have so many things to take care of, so many anxieties and uncertainties and mistakes. But 15-year-old me would be so fucking proud of 23-year-old me. And I think I need to remember that more often.