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Better Balance Fridays
Control vs. Concede
With kids, pick your battles.
Find out why
Control vs. Concede
With kids, pick your battles.
Find out why
Control
As a father, the temptation is strong to control everything.
After all, you do know best.
When we tell our daughters it’s time to go to bed,
They’re unhappy.
As a father, the temptation is strong to control everything.
After all, you do know best.
When we tell our daughters it’s time to go to bed,
They’re unhappy.
“Please can we play for 5 more minutes?”
We dig in.
“I said it’s time for bed”
Only to be met with screaming and slamming.
We dig in.
“I said it’s time for bed”
Only to be met with screaming and slamming.
We dig in, they dig in harder.
Try not to think of this as a battle to be won.
They’re just modeling what they see.
Try not to think of this as a battle to be won.
They’re just modeling what they see.
Both of you are thinking the same thing.
**Re-stating my position forcefully must be a good way to achieve my goal**
Get it?
Now on to a more peaceful solution.
**Re-stating my position forcefully must be a good way to achieve my goal**
Get it?
Now on to a more peaceful solution.
Concede
I don’t just mean bend to every whim.
I’m old school enough to value authority as a father.
But an extra 5 minutes of playtime really doesn’t matter.
And it means a ton to a young child.
I don’t just mean bend to every whim.
I’m old school enough to value authority as a father.
But an extra 5 minutes of playtime really doesn’t matter.
And it means a ton to a young child.
*Sidenote*
I’ve recently found myself using “Why are you making such a big deal of this? It doesn’t even matter.” to try to calm a situation.
I’m mature enough to realize when I’m being a hypocrite.
If it doesn’t matter, then why try to control them?
I’ve recently found myself using “Why are you making such a big deal of this? It doesn’t even matter.” to try to calm a situation.
I’m mature enough to realize when I’m being a hypocrite.
If it doesn’t matter, then why try to control them?
When conceding, consider:
- safety (kids like to do dangerous things. if lives are at stake, stand by your position)
- boundaries (timer for playtime, limits for food, etc.)
- frequency (doing this all the time is bad)
- attitude (don’t be the ‘whatever’ parent)
- safety (kids like to do dangerous things. if lives are at stake, stand by your position)
- boundaries (timer for playtime, limits for food, etc.)
- frequency (doing this all the time is bad)
- attitude (don’t be the ‘whatever’ parent)
You may find it hard to put aside your ego.
To let your child ‘game the system’ like that.
With practice, this becomes effortless.
You’ll use that 5 extra minutes to knock out an important task or grab some water.
To let your child ‘game the system’ like that.
With practice, this becomes effortless.
You’ll use that 5 extra minutes to knock out an important task or grab some water.
It’s not a big deal. Don’t make it one.
