If you’ve ever been bullied at work you will recognise the gaslighting that is going on now. She didn’t know she was doing anything wrong therefore there will be no repercussions. Hands up if this feels familiar? ‘Oh I know X can be difficult, they don’t mean any harm though’ 1/3

Translation: you’re being over sensitive. Other people can handle it. ‘I’ve never personally had a problem with X, they’ve always been fine with me.’ Translation: you must be the one with the problem. ‘Oh that’s just X’s way’. Translation: suck it up, buttercup 2/3

Well-meant offers of mediation, downplaying of behaviours, emphasising the perpetrator’s good qualities in the name of balance, seeing ‘both sides’ - it all adds to the sense of not being believed, which is what bullies rely on. It’s gaslighting. 3/3