Thread by @nickelkeep, With all that's happened, I can't really sleep. As Dean would say, [...]

nickel || It's in just saying it. || COPE || BLM

nickelkeep

With all that's happened, I can't really sleep. As Dean would say, I got my four hours. So I guess that's enough.

I lost not only my best friend tonight, but the comfort characters that I've been leaning on for the past two years.

I won't lie. Parts of the episode made sense.

Dean wanting to live because Cas sacrificed himself? I mean, look - how many other people had sacrificed themselves and he kept being a reckless ass? But with Cas' sacrifice? The final one? Yeah, the one where he sacrificed for love? That's the one that's going to stick.

Heaven?

That made sense too. I've always hated the idea where you just live in memory loops after you die. Making an open sandbox (in this case, almost literally) where it's paradise? And Jack made it with Cas' guidance? That's awesome.

And then Sam and Dean finally breaking their

Codependency? It was about time. It shows growth and trust between them.

What does piss me off that it only happened because Dean died.

Look, I get it, people are saying that Dean was at peace. And sure. Fine. But he had what? At best a month or two of freedom from Chuck's pen.

You're telling me that's satisfying? You're telling me Cas sacrificed himself so Dean only got a taste of that freedom? That it would be ripped away from him by a fucking random piece of rebar sticking out from a wooden pillar?

Nah. That's an insult to Dean fucking Winchester.

And, as much as it kills me to say it, considering that I have been so defensive about Cas' death not being a typical 'kill your gays' situation...

With Dean's death, they doubled down.

So yeah, I'm empty after the episode.

And I'm heartbroken because I lost my best friend.

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