Reflecting on what I can be grateful for after a particularly trying day.
I am so grateful for @triciajanak being the most incredible mentor anyone could ever dream of -- my first meeting with her began with me crying about how I should maybe drop out of grad school.
1/n
I am so grateful for @triciajanak being the most incredible mentor anyone could ever dream of -- my first meeting with her began with me crying about how I should maybe drop out of grad school.
1/n
She looked at this puddle of tears with no relevant skills and weak scholarship. And even though she was a wildly popular PI due to her incredible mentoring reputation and already had a completely FULL lab, she decided to give me a chance. (Still not entirely sure why).
2/n
2/n
In the first few months, I was very insecure. Constantly struggling with imposter syndrome and wondering if I should just drop out now before I burdened anybody else. I went to knock on her office door almost daily (I know, I know... highest maintenance grad student ever)
3/n
3/n
And no matter how annoyed she must have been, she never showed it. She was always kind and patient and supportive. She listened to me tell her about how my rat died during surgery. Or had seizures. Or died from infection. Every PIs favorite kind of student, right...

4/n


4/n
Despite months of being super needy and yet unproductive, she stayed positive and kept believing in me. Don't know how she managed to keep that up for so long, honestly, but... she did such a good job that something amazing happened.
I started to believe in myself, too!
5/n
I started to believe in myself, too!
5/n
Eventually, I started to cry less and produce more. Eventually, I started to believe that I could maybe make it in science.
And that was the turning point when I started to have ideas, and to have the confidence to try them out.
6/n
And that was the turning point when I started to have ideas, and to have the confidence to try them out.
6/n
Once I started to have ideas and try them out, I started to LOVE research. I got grandiose for a bit, which was prob even more annoying. I had some ideas that required lots of equipment/techniques that were not in her lab... and she went to great lengths to support me.
7/n
7/n
She never told me No. She just cleared the path of obstacles so I could explore and begin to exercise my autonomy.
8/n
8/n
Then at one point, when things were starting to work, and I had some data for a manuscript! And she had a baby. I remember her inviting me to her home while she was on maternity leave, and her nursing with one arm and editing my manuscript with the other. Unforgettable.
9/n
9/n
In that moment, she made me feel incredibly supported and also simultaneously taught me by example that you can be a mom and scientist at the same time. Literally the SAME time.
She has continued to mentor and inspire me in the more than a decade since I left her lab.
10/n
She has continued to mentor and inspire me in the more than a decade since I left her lab.
10/n
She continues to be a mentor, colleague, role model, inspiration, and one of my closest friends.
Choosing her for my mentor was THE best decision I have ever made in my career.
I would not be in academia now if it were not for @triciajanak.
11/n
Choosing her for my mentor was THE best decision I have ever made in my career.
I would not be in academia now if it were not for @triciajanak.
11/n
While I have also had amazing male mentors like @KarlDeisseroth, the fact that my PhD advisor was female was critically important for me to feel like "If she can do it all, then maybe I can too."
For this N=1, having a female mentor was not only good , it was *necessary*.
eom/
For this N=1, having a female mentor was not only good , it was *necessary*.
eom/