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Okay, so. International anything day is admittedly a little silly. But here we are: it's international men's day, and dammit, here's a little thread about manhood and masculinity.
Even under healthy social circumstances, a lot of men get a little bashful talking about manhood. It feels like itself kind of an unmanly thing to do--something best done in gatherings of close friends and relations, passed on from father to son.
But many traditions (like father-son bonding) and institutions (like Boy Scouts), which used to pass down the essential lessons of manhood from man to boy, have either atrophied or been abolished and maligned. It now feels positively transgressive to communicate the manly code.
This leaves many men casting about for guidance, hungry for instruction but ashamed to ask--either because they don't want to admit ignorance, or because they think it's wrong and regressive to aspire to manliness in the first place.
Many young men are absolutely *starving* for frank, clear teaching about the manly virtues. They'll take it from anyone, even losers like me on Twitter. Hence the success of pickup artists: their vision of manhood is gross, but at least it's not censored. That's something.
But the real yearnings and necessities of manhood go far deeper than raw animal urges or the primal hunt for a good lay. Those yearnings and necessities include: excellence in all things, strength both physical and characterological, and brotherhood in service of a common ideal.
Part of why I tweet about apparently frothy stuff like personal grooming and weight lifting is: more and more, I find it important to take pride in high personal standards in everything, and to visibly model not being ashamed about that.
It's important to communicate this to young men: be very clear with yourself and others that you aspire to personal excellence in the manly virtues at every level. Take pride in and work to better your posture, your fitness, your mental, physical, and spiritual discipline.
If you are afraid to aspire openly to these manly virtues--because it seems socially unacceptable to do so, because even talking about them feels cringe--then conquering that fear will itself train you in the integrity and courage that are essential to all you seek to cultivate.
Your heart knows what it aspires to. *You* know. If you step out in faith to pursue it, you will find that you have become a leader among many others who admire your example and want to do likewise. Their support and friendship will be one of the chief joys of your life.
All this is to say: hold your brothers close. If you are a man, aspire to be a good one. If you are a woman and you love a man, support him in those aspirations and don't belittle them. They are, ironically, some of the tenderest parts of him. And the world needs them.
