Please hear me on this, dear women: If you are in a community where men lusting after 13-year-olds is normal, and where you believe that men can't help it, this isn't safe. Good men do exist.

If the men you know have told you your whole life that men can't help it; that all men are visual and automatically lust, and so women must never be a stumbling block; well, those men have done so because this way they get away with lusting.

They would rather put the blame for men's sin on women.

And what are women to believe? We're not men, so if all the men around us say, "men can't help it," we will be inclined to believe it. And most of our evangelical books have said it, too.

But it ISN'T true. All men DON'T lust. Lust is not every man's battle. If a man knows a girl is 13, it is actually quite easy for most men not to lust after her.

Now certainly it's easier to blame the 13 yo than to admit your husband, and your church, may have a problem.

But Jesus does not say lust is inevitable, and Jesus protects those who are vulnerable. We should too.

If you're in a marriage where men's lust is being excused, please seek help. Look for our book The Great Sex Rescue that is coming out. Read my blog. https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2017/06/every-mans-battle-is-wrong/

And just please know that Jesus values and loves you. He values and loves 13-year-old girls. He would never, ever excuse lusting after a child. And if the men around you excuse it, or try to blame the child--that is a red flag that you are not in a safe, Spirit-filled community.