Not sure who needs to hear this.

I will be interviewing my Mom for one of my classes.

She said that her only regret in her life is not knowing more about Autism so she could have prevented a lot of my suffering.

So, I want to take a moment to reflect on my thoughts on this.

One
I know for a fact that there were no resources, no supports, absolutely zero knowledge concerning Autistic girls when I was growing up.

I don't want my Mom feeling regret for not having access to information that didn't exist in the first place.

Two
My Mom is, and was amazing.
With no prior knowledge or support, she managed to observe and understand my needs. Not always perfectly.

She provided me a foundation of trust, not perfection.

Perfection is not a reasonable goal.
Trust is the goal we should reach for instead.

With trust, perfection becomes irrelevant...it's not even desirable.

Perfect doesn't provide for learning and growth.

I'm still learning, but my trauma is very intertwined with a feeling of being robbed of trust.

Not from my Mom.

Parenting does not need to be a battle to perfection.

Trust will look different for every child, every parent, every family.

You can listen to all the advice, and still feel like none of it applies, and that's ok.

You will not be perfect, and you should not want to be.

What you can do is listen to Autistic adults who are sharing their experiences.

We are fighting a war against hate groups like Autism Speaks, who have an enormous piggy bank dedicated to invalidating the voices (written,spoken, or otherwise) of #ActuallyAutistic people.

Listening might surprise you.
Even if our experiences don't seem to relate to yours now, you never know when it might.

I plead with people to maintain open minds.

It's hard to do when you are afraid.
Afraid for our future.
Afraid for our well-being.

I understand.

Your fear is valid.
Our fear is valid.

We are afraid.

Afraid of failing you.
Afraid of failing even after doing our best.

We all need validation and understanding.
We all need our trust renewed.

Trust is complicated.
Trust might be attainable.