I spent years, in silence, battling anger, depression, and suicidal thoughts. I abused alcohol as an outlet. I self-harmed on more than one occasion. Any time I thought about getting help, a nagging voice would tell me I wasn't worth it and nothing could be done.

I spent years telling myself that I was just fundamentally broken and masking everything from the people closest to me, believing that I wasn't suppised to talk about it. That I was just supposed to "tough it out."

Almost a decade later, I finally went to a psychiatrist.

For over half of my life, I had been living with PTSD. PTSD that had been shrugged off as just "boys are just angry sometimes." PTSD that was shrugged off as "you'll get through it, everyone has days like that."

I've spent the last few years working through it. I got "better", but it's not something that heals easily. I couldn't do it alone. I needed to reach out to people. To learn to be vulnerable with them. To learn to accept that I was worth help and to learn how to ask for it.

It's hard for men (especially traditionally masculine men) to admit that they need help and that needs to change. You aren't weak. You don't have to go it alone. You are worth help.